Hush Hush
by BadgebunnyUK
Summary: Patsy and Delia's lives become entangled with some newcomers to Poplar. Established Pats/Deels. Drama and much fluff!
1. Chapter 1

Hush

Patsy moved to sit more comfortably on the bicycle seat and pushed the pedals into action.

As she headed out beneath the bridge, she passed a vaguely familiar young man, who seemed to be watching her with an appreciative smirk from behind his cigarette, he dipped his head in her direction and just as she passed he winked at her.

Patsy felt a heat creep into her cheeks and shook her head at herself, it wasn't like her to be so easily flustered by such attention but there was something about the eyes, the look this man had given her, it had been so knowing, so didn't hurt that he was also very young and objectivley quite attractive. He put her in mind of James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause and although Natalie Wood was much more her cup of tea, she could appreciate a handsome face.

Patsy recalled now where she had seen him before, he wasn't a local. She had been in Poplar now for long enough to see some of the children make that difficult transition from child to teen to young adult, seemingly overnight, however this boy wasn't one of them. Patsy had noted his appearance in the area when she had seen him with a young lady on his arm, she and Delia had been picking up some bits for supper on the market and they had come face to face with the couple.

Patsy had noticed them fondly yet not without a little envy, as they clung together in the crowd, on that occasion the young man had seemed only to have eyes for the girl on his arm as she laughed into his chest, her hands gripping tightly to his leather jacket.

Patsy realised she had been cycling along the old familiar route quite in a daydream and had almost taken a wrong turn, she resolved to get her head back into her work before she arrived at the scene of what promised to be quite a straightforward delivery, a mother of four who could in all likelihood manage alone if necessary.

Xxx

Patsy let herself into the upstairs flat they called home, the scent from the kitchen carrying her the last few steps of the way up the staircase after a long shift.

"Mmmm, that smells divine!" Patsy called as she entered the room, kicking off her shoes before stooping to quickly position them neatly in the cupboard.

Delia appeared from the kitchen area holding a wooden spoon carefully aloft and bringing it for Patsy to sample the offering, before replacing the spoon with her lips in a true welcome home.

"Mmm, it tastes even better, I'm famished!" Patsy informed as her hands found their way to Delia's waist.

"Work alright?" Delia checked.

Patsy nodded and placed her lips once more to Delia's. "Just long." She added.

Delia pushed Patsy slightly back towards the sofa until Patsy let herself sink into the seat heavily.

"Sit." Delia ordered. "Supper won't be long."

"You're quite the perfect little housewife sometimes Deels." Patsy teased as she watched her girlfriend return to the kitchen.

Delia's eyes darkened as she threw Patsy a warning look over her shoulder."Better not get used to it sweetheart, I'm on nights for the rest of the week and you're going to have to fend for yourself." She called playfully.

Patsy's face fell, though not at the prospect of cobbling together her own meals, more at the ache she felt, knowing she would see little of Delia for the next four nights. Getting into a cold bed by herself was always the worst of it, then struggling to find sleep until she felt her love's cooler body slip beneath the blankets and wrap around her, desperate to share in her warmth. It was startling just how quickly one got used to having someone beside you through the night, even after years of sleeping alone. Patsy knew it was the same for Delia and that on the occasions she was called from her bed by a work related emergency, even if she was as quiet and careful not to disturb Delia as she could be, the nurse would wake, instinctively feeling that Patsy was no longer there.

"Pats?!" Delia called as she stood by their small dining table, having set down two plates of steaming food. Delia smiled questioningly, her hands on her hips. "Are you joining me Cariad?"

Patsy jumped from her train of thought and made her way to join Delia. "Sorry Deels." She offered as she took out a chair and they sat together. "This looks lovely."

As they sat and ate Patsy wondered at how much she enjoyed the most mundane of daily activities infinitely more with Delia by her side. Just the chance to sit and look adoringly at her over some stew and dumplings, in their own flat, without having to check herself, was as much like heaven as she could imagine.

Patsy covered Delia's free hand with her own on the table. "I love this." She admitted.

"You haven't eaten any of it yet!" Delia replied in amusement.

"You know what I mean Deels." Patsy pouted as she took up her fork and filled it with food.

"I know what you mean." Delia agreed moving her thumb lightly over Patsy's before tucking into her own meal.

Xxx

The record player played the dying notes to the last song on the album and Delia had just beaten Patsy in another game of Gin Rummy. Patsy suspected that Delia may have slightly adjusted the rules of the game, although Delia insisted that Patsy had just forgotten the way the game was played. When the girls at Nonnatus had dabbled in the odd spot of cards Patsy had revealed her tendency to be somewhat competitive. However tonight she was happy just to play the game, at least for now.

Delia shuffled the cards, attempting to hide a smug smile and glanced up at Patsy.

"You're sure you don't mind that we stayed in tonight?" Patsy checked again.

"Of course not." Delia informed as she dealt them each the required number of cards.

"I do like to have you to myself for the evening before you begin the night shifts." Patsy explained.

"I know." Delia nodded. "Me too. Where was it Trixie wanted us to go anyway?"

"She delivered the baby of a chinese woman the other evening who invited her to come back for a meal in the family restaurant and bring her friends. Barbara and Nurse Crane are happy to go along, I'm sure they'll have a lovely time." Patsy went on.

"What did you tell her? "Sorry Trixie, Delia and I can't come for a free meal, we simply must stay at home gazing lovingly into one another's eyes whilst Delia absolutely trounces me at cards." Delia was trying out her posh English accent, an impersonation of Patsy that she was developing and smiling devilishly as she topped up her drink before getting up to change the record.

"I just said that we'd invited over an old friend from the nurses home." Patsy shrugged a little sheepishly.

Delia frowned. "That was fast thinking Pats, or have you been keeping that one on standby for a while?"

Patsy heard the slight change in tone and knew Delia had shifted from teasing to actual annoyance. Delia had turned her back on Patsy as she took care of the music.

Patsy rose and came to stand behind her, placing her hands on each of Delia's upper arms, only an inch between her front and Delia's back.

"Delia, Darling don't be cross with me, not tonight." Patsy's voice rumbled low, beside Delia's ear.

Delia sighed as she allowed herself to lean back into Patsy's body. "You know what I think." Delia reminded, not quite ready to drop the subject despite Patsy's nearness. "You should be honest with her, she's your friend, _our_ friend and she has trusted us with her own secret. She was confident we wouldn't think any less of her."

It was Patsy who sighed now and stepped away from the old argument. "I know you're right." Patsy conceded. "I am going to tell her, eventually."

Their last real argument had happened when they had bumped into Trixie on their way home from the Gateway one night. They had been only a handful of times over the months and though Delia always enjoyed it, the outings were still something that filled Patsy with trepidation. Would someone see them going in or coming out? So on being discovered coming home from that direction, she had panicked.

Trixie had seemed upset that she had stumbled across them, linked arms, giggling conspiratorially and obviously having had more than a couple of drinks.

"Just because I'm not drinking does not mean I don't know how to have fun anymore ladies!" Trixie had informed them, failing to come off as anything but hurt.

Patsy had as usual reeled of some empty sounding excuse and protest in one and Delia had been furious.

"You let her think that! Rather than have to tell her the truth!" She had blasted Patsy with, the moment they had reached the flat.

In Patsy's own defence, the lie did have an element of truth to it, every good lie does. It was a little inappropriate to invite Trixie out if they were going to be drinking, the cinema was one thing but if Patsy was expected to dance she had to have a drink or two inside her.

Now Delia turned back to face Patsy and took hold of one hand before she could move completely away. "You have to stop putting it off, you're worried that she'll feel deceived, but the longer you leave it the worse that gets."

"It isn't just that."Patsy admitted glumly, almost sulking..

Delia pulled her love in closer and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"What is it then?" She asked patiently.

"It's just… I don't expect her to react badly exactly, to want nothing to do with us or anything. I just hate to think that she'll see me differently, that she might question things…" Patsy trailed off.

Delia looked deeply confused. "Like what?" She asked blankly.

"We shared a room, we strutted around in our scanties. What if she feels…awkward." Patsy half shrugged.

"Is this your way of telling me you used to sneak a peek on the long lonely winter nights?" Delia stifled a giggle as the shade of red upon Patsy's cheeks deepened a shade or three.

"Deels!" Patsy groaned. "I wouldn't, besides, I was already smitten with you by the time I met Trixie."

"True." Delia allowed with a dazzling smile. "But she is very glamorous, no one could really blame you…" Delia smirked, raising a brow in a challenge which was met by Patsy taking a firmer hold on her lover's waist, pulling her even closer and moving fingers to tickle the spot just below Delia's ribs that Patsy knew would make her double over in laughter.

"Pats!" Delia squealed. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry for teasing." Delia put up hands in surrender which ended up on Patsy's shoulders as they leant into the truce of a kiss.

The next song on the record began to play and Patsy began to sway them both as she held Delia close.

Xxx

A/N- Thanks for reading folks. This is going to be a longer slower fic. Reviews appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

Hush Hush 2

Patsy woke in Delia's arms, her favourite way to begin any day. She took a moment to enjoy the fact that she didn't have to slip out of the room, hoping nobody would see her, didn't have to listen for footsteps outside the door. They were finally safe, at least within these walls.

When they had first moved in almost six months ago, Patsy wondered if being together every day would somehow change things, they had spent so long fighting to be together, cherishing stolen moments and secret meetings, even whilst under the same roof. With nothing to get in their way would they tire of one another? Would they move into an all too comfortable companionship where each grew to take the other for granted? Patsy knew it should be too soon to tell, yet she felt just the same thrill waking up beside Delia today as she always had since the very first time, all those years ago and now she could enjoy it without immediate fear for the future. She couldn't imagine a time when this would ever not bring her joy.

Patsy sighed as she finally made to get out of bed, away from the warmth of Delia pressed up against her back, moulded perfectly around her, warm, comforting and safe.

"Ughmm stay!." Delia groaned, tightening her grasp around Patsy's waist and tensing her entangled legs to prevent Patsy's exit.

"I have clinic…" Patsy protested meekly, even as she snuggled back into Delia's embrace.

Delia rested her chin happily on Patsy's shoulder, placing one kiss on the upturned cheek first. "Just five more minutes." She promised with a contented sigh.

Patsy smiled, her eyes closing as she took in the sensation of Delia's hand traveling gently up over her hip, waist, ribs and skimming over the curve of her breast. "Five more minutes will not wash with Nurse Crane."

Patsy placed her own hand over Delia's, halting the explorations before either of them got carried away. She rolled away and over so that she faced Delia now but so that there was a small gap between them, she could look but shouldn't touch. Well, one kiss wouldn't hurt.

Patsy placed a chaste kiss to Delia's nose and giggled as Delia scrunched up her face in a expression of displeasure, scrubbing her hand over the place that had been kissed.

"Patience Mount! I expect a proper kiss from you before you leave." Delia demanded in mock outrage, again preventing Patsy's exit from the bed with one arm and propping herself up on her elbow.

Patsy couldn't resist, Delia was still warm and flushed from sleep and her lips, tugged up on one side, looked so inviting. She dipped her head and planted her own lips over Delia's, a quick kiss and then another, and then she couldn't break away as Delia wrapped her arm around her lover's neck and rolled Patsy slightly onto her, taking the opportunity to deepen the kiss and moan against Patsy's mouth as the woman above her opened hers.

Patsy pulled away and panted slightly, a small frown as she fought to control her desire to continue. "I have to go, I cannot be late again. You are singlehandedly damaging beyond repair my previously immaculate record for punctuality."

"Phyllis won't mind." Delia mumbled. "She loves us all like daughters."

Patsy finally dragged herself out of the bed and tugged at her dressing gown on the back of the door beside Delia's. "I shall let you explain then when she decides to take me to task." Patsy replied as she moved to the bathroom.

"Oh, that reminds me… My mother is finally coming to check that the flat is fit for human habitation." Delia called from the bed. She heard Patsy's groan as she brushed her teeth and then she reappeared in the bedroom.

"What?! When?" Pasty asked, stomping to the wardrobe and taking out her uniform.

"Next week. It's only for a couple of days, she knows we don't have much room…" Delia reasoned.

They had plenty of room really, in that one room wasn't being used at all but they would have to go back to pretending, to holding back, even behind closed doors, and even if it was only for a couple of days, Patsy resented it all the same.

"Great." Patsy peeled off her pajamas. "Perhaps I can pick up an extra shift or two." She mumbled to herself.

Delia looked troubled and Patsy instantly regretted the words. "It'll be fine. We don't have to change things too much. I told her she can have your room, as we'll be coming and going at all hours. She'll be fine." Delia assured.

"Yes. Sorry." Patsy offered, placing a hand to Delia's shoulder as she dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "It'll be nice for her to see the flat."

Patsy could already here Mrs Busby's criticism, the flat would be too poky for the two of them, the area would be unseemly, she would not have anything good to say and Delia would let her say what she liked. But Patsy must hold her tongue as much as possible. Whatever Mrs Busby knew about their relationship, she had not condemned them, not yet and Patsy wouldn't push her to it. She would be the ideal daughter-in-law. Best behaviour.

"Go back to sleep Deels, I'll see you later." Patsy instructed gently.

Xxx

Patsy rushed on tip toes into the clinic, spotting Trixie and raising a questioning brow as she halted on the threshold. Trixie looked left, then right and nodded at Patsy, beckoning her quickly in, before a voice came from behind a curtain somewhere.

"Nurse Mount, You may keep whatever hours you please now you live in your own little flat, but here at the Clinic we must be ready to open our doors in a prompt fashion!" Nurse Crane called.

Patsy had reached Trixie and the two grinned as they failed to contain their bubbling laughter.

"How does she do it?" Whispered Trixie. "She see's all!"

Patsy took off her hat and cape as she got ready for the doors to open, finally coming to take a clipboard from Trixie and glancing down at the list of names.

"How was last night?" Patsy asked as she scanned the list.

"Quite delicious, though Barbara couldn't bring herself to eat the duck, apparently she had ducks as pets as a child." Trixie teased as Barbara joined them.

"Hello Patsy, it's a shame you couldn't join us, it was frightfully nice food and we had a bit of a giggle." Barbara told her jovially. "It feels like we hardly see you these days." She added sadly.

Patsy cast her eyes down and agreed.

"How did your evening go?" Trixie asked now. "Did you enjoy entertaining?"

Patsy smiled lopsidedly. "Actually, Delia's cooking seems to be improving quite dramatically, unlike mine."

Trixie and Barbara shared a look and each erupted into laughter.

"What?" Asked Patsy blankly.

"I think Delia may have had a little help in the form of Mrs B." Trixie informed helpfully.

"Yes, quite a lot of help if the sight of Delia lugging a great pan of food across Poplar is anything to go by." Barbara added with a grin.

Patsy's brow raised beneath her fringe. "Really? That explains it!" She beamed.

"She must have been out to impress last night." Barbara continued. "It wasn't a gentleman friend of yours that visited was it?"

"Don't be silly Barbara" Trixie winked at Patsy. " If it had been Patsy would have made herself scarce wouldn't she?"

"If we are quite done gossiping ladies I shall let them in." Nurse Crane announced as she marched to the doorway.

"What are you up to tonight?" Patsy asked in hushed tones. "Delia's on nights and I'll be in the flat alone."

"I'm first on call tonight." Barbara said regretfully.

"I'm available!" Trixie whispered.

"Good, Delia has some new records, we could have a proper catch up, if you like?" Patsy asked hopefully.

"Certainly, it sounds delightful." Trixie agreed before moving away to her station.

Xxx

Following a long and busy day in the clinic, Patsy staying on a little longer to give the floors a full and proper cleaning, in part to atone for her lack of punctuality that morning, Patsy finally rushed back to the flat to have a tidy round before Trixie arrived. Trixie had said she would eat first and had invited Patsy to Nonnatus to join them but Patsy said that she would be fine fixing a sandwich at home. If she turned up at Nonnatus they would never get away again and she wanted chance to speak with Trixie alone.

As Patsy secured her bicycle and made her way to the door of the flat she noticed people sitting on the steps of the building next to theirs, which was also a large victorian house split up into different small flats. Patsy recognised the young man right away as the one from the day before and his girlfriend huddled next to him, his leather jacket draped over her shoulders in an act of chivalry, as his muscular arms were left bare to the cold.

"Evening Nurse!" The young girl called as she spotted Patsy.

"Evening." Patsy replied politely, a little worried that she'd been caught staring.

"It's a pretty one." The young man called. "The clearest sky we've seen since we got to London."

Patsy looked up at the darkening night. "Yes, I suppose it is." She agreed.

"Almost like home." The young girl piped up, a slight longing in her voice as she wrapped her arms around herself beneath the jacket.

Patsy had her key in her hand, but felt she should pause and be neighbourly, she hadn't realised the young couple were boarding so near by.

"Where is home, if you don't mind me asking?" Patsy enquired as the most natural thing to say.

Patsy noticed the young man start and look meaningfully at the girl beside him.

"Oh, you wouldn't know it, further south, on the coast." The girls said vaguely. "It's only small."

Patsy could sense a secret and being so accustomed to guarding her own she had no desire to pry. She smiled and finally put her key into the lock. "Well, enjoy the evening." She smiled, pushing the door open.

The pair nodded. "I'm Shirley and this is Tony." The girl called now.

Patsy had taken a step inside but popped her head back around the door frame. "Patsy." She offered. "Though most people around here call me Nurse Mount. It's good to meet you!"

Shirley nodded and watched Patsy disappear. Poor thing is probably lonely and missing home, Patsy thought. She would make more effort to speak to her the next time they should meet. But tonight she wanted to clear the flat, make herself presentable and have a quick glass of dutch courage before Trixie arrived.

Patsy moved into the bedroom that she and Delia shared and quickly changed out of her uniform, into a pair a slacks and a shirt. She stood at the mirror, unpinned her hair and ran her fingers through it, shaking it down around her shoulders. In the mirror she could see the head of the bed, she smiled as she pictured Delia slipping into her side of the bed following her long shift and snuggling into a waiting Patsy.

Patsy caught sight of Delia's belongings on the nightstand, her book, reading glasses, a glass of water she kept at the bedside and refreshed each night and then across to her own side which was clear of any belongings, she always set her things away in a draw but thought that tonight she should perhaps scatter a few things in the smaller room across from this one, Patsy's official bedroom.

Patsy did this and felt that the little room still looked as though no one had ever stayed in there so she took the vase of flowers from their bedroom windowsill and carried them across the hallway, leaving both doors slightly ajar. Such trouble to go to when the whole purpose of tonight was to tell Trixie the truth, if she could manage it.

Xxx

"The flat is so cosy." Trixie complimented. "You've added a lot of little touches since the last time I was here." She fingered the new curtains. "The young girl I was sharing with after you was interesting."

"Really?" Patsy enquired, sensing a story.

"You know her, you'd have seen her at the clinic. The little blonde. Deborah." Trixie described.

Patsy nodded. "Yes, a nervous little thing."

"You can say that again, I think she's terrified of me! She pretended to be asleep every time I came into the room." Trixie rolled her eyes as she lit a cigarette and passed one to Patsy, lighting another for herself.

Patsy cringed. They really had been lucky that they had gotten along so well for so long, sharing a room with someone wasn't easy. Not having one's own space, could be a trial. Patsy took a long drag of her cigarette and felt the immediate calming effect, that made her realise quite how tense she was feeling. She had cut down significantly on the cigarettes since moving in with Delia, but she did still enjoy a good smoke. She would air the room before she went to bed to try and get rid of the smell.

"Now I have Delia's old room and the girl who's coming in to take over Barbara's duties will be sharing with Deborah. I will finally have a room of my own." Trixie continued.

"Barbara's duties?" Patsy asked raising a brow.

"Oh, well… she may be having to take a break soon… I think, a planned holiday or something…" Trixie stammered and could not meet Patsy's eyes.

Patsy opened her mouth wide and stared at Trixie. "She? Is she pregnant? Oh my goodness! How wonderful!"

Trixie's mouth turned down and her shoulders sank guiltily. "She wanted to tell you herself. You'll have to pretend not to know and don't tell Delia. She'll kill me." Trixie warned.

"Scouts honour!" Patsy winked, holding her fingers up in salute. "It's so marvelous for them. Tom must be over the moon!"

"Of course! They will make quite the perfect family." Trixie declared wistfully.

"Indeed. I wonder who will get the honour of being the midwife ?" Patsy grinned mischievously and wiggled a brow at Trixie. She was enjoying herself quite enough to almost completely forget the task she had set.

Trixie sighed. "Oh and Jenny wrote me a couple of weeks ago telling us of the arrival of a baby girl for she and Philip!" She smiled and took another drag of her cigarette.

"Oh how delightful! You will have to give her all of my best wishes." Patsy replied sincerely, she had liked Jenny and from what she'd heard, she was just the sort of girl she could have been good friends with.

"I think the sisters are putting together a package of some sort, but of course, I shall add a card from us all." Trixie assured. "It seems everyone is moving on." Trixie pondered. "Jenny, Barbara, now you and Delia have flown the nest… and I'm still at Nonnatus House, growing old with the sisters and Nurse Crane."

"Better not let Phyllis hear you saying that, I think she imagines herself as one of us, she would hate to be lumped in with the sisters." Patsy replied.

"Oh and she is one of us, truly!" Trixie corrected. "I just mean that things seem to be changing and I seem to be stuck. It's not a terrible place to be stuck in, but I feel I've lost all momentum." Trixie lamented.

Patsy felt a stab of guilt, she had been so excited to set up home with Delia she hadn't given much thought to how it may affect her friend. "You could move out, get a place of your own, surely?"

"I don't think I could. It's different doing it with a friend…like you and Delia." Trixie snuck a look at Patsy who stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray that sat between them.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that… about Delia and I…" Patsy swallowed and took a deep breath. " Moving in with a friend is great….I'm sure… but Delia and I… well, it's always been a little more with us, a lot more really. I mean… well we aren't merely friends…" Patsy looked uncertainly at the large eyes that watched her carefully.

"I know that you have known each other for a long time...you trained together…" Trixie offered kindly.

"Yes, that's right. But that isn't what I mean...Things are… different...between us. They always have been. When I met Delia I…" Patsy stopped. She could really use a drink now. Did she have chance to go back, to concoct another lie?

Then Patsy noticed that Trixie who was waiting very patiently, looked strangely amused. Patsy frowned and actual laughter sputtered from Trixie.

"What is it?" Patsy asked.

"Oh Patsy. You look so dreadfully uncomfortable. I wondered if you were ever going to get around to actually spelling it out. I've known about your relationship with Delia for ages." Trixie grinned, flashing her perfectly white teeth.

"You have?" Patsy gasped.

"Of course. Trixie shrugged. "The two of you are so obvious to anyone with have an ounce of sense. I mean, I suspected for a while. Never once have I seen either of you with a man and you seem so happy to be in one another's company. But after the accident, when Delia suddenly reappeared. I knew. The way you look at her… I'd have to be blind…"

"Do you think anyone else knows?" Patsy asked breathlessly.

Trixie touched a finger to her lips as she thought. "I think Barbara is a little naive and she has been quite distracted by Tom since around the same time. I do think that Nurse Crane is probably wise to it, but she would never mention it to a soul! And I'm sure the sisters just wouldn't think of it. But even so, the two of you should be careful around them, neither of you want to risk your positions." Trixie advised sensibly yet rather nonchalant.

"I can't believe you knew. I felt absolutely wretched about not telling you sooner, Delia wanted me too…" Patsy confessed. "I just...I've hidden it for so long…"

"I thought when we were all living under one roof it was best not to let you know that I knew, it might have just made things more stressful and I did want you to tell me yourself...Oh Patsy, I'm glad that you finally did." Trixie announced as she moved forward and put an arm around Patsy in a small hug.

"Did I?" Patsy asked, relieved but finding it all quite difficult to take in.

Trixie giggled and Patsy noticed a tear at the very corner of the blondes eye. Patsy really should have done this sooner. Delia was right. Rats. Why did she always have to be right?

"Oh but Pats, you shouldn't stay away from Nonnatus House, you've hardly been back since you moved and it's been noticed…"

Patsy looked concerned.

"I just mean that you have been missed. Delia finds time to pop back and I know now you have a taste of freedom you may not want to look back but… we're still your family...and moving a mile down the road will not change that." Trixie said kindly.

Patsy smiled and nodded her head in agreement. "I know. I will. I suppose it's just that the more open and honest I can be here, the harder it gets to lie to people, especially those closest to me."

Trixie nodded in understanding. "Then don't lie, just don't offer too many details."

Patsy smiled and let a long breath she had been holding leave her all at once.

Trixie took out another cigarette and again offered one to Patsy, who hesitated before accepting hers. Just one more before bed.

"I have bigger problems right now anyway, it would seem…" Patsy admitted to her friend, leaning back once her ciggy was lit and taking a long drag which she then slowly exhaled.

"Oh yes? Do tell.."

"Mrs Busby is coming to visit!" Patsy announced with a look that expressed exactly how she felt about the prospect.

Trixie laughed loudly and slapped a hand to her knee. "Oh dear." She finally managed.

Xxx

A/N- Thank you for reading. x


	3. Chapter 3

Hush Hush 3

Patsy was in a very chipper mood indeed. Delia's final night shift had been last night and she had also found herself called out on an all night call. A new baby girl for the Thomas family. Their second baby, they already had a boy so were suitably pleased by the arrival of the fairer sex. It never sat very well with Patsy when the natural joy of a child's birth was darkened by that shadow of disappointment, but it happened all too frequently. Mrs Dewsnip who had five boys had refused to even look at the last one for a solid hour following his arrival, so set had her heart been on finally having a girl.

Patsy had slept well, arriving home even later than Delia had.

"You weren't here when I got home." Complained Delia.

"I'm here now." Patsy had replied as she wrapped herself snugly around the smaller form.

They had slept like that all morning and only hunger had roused them, a little after the usual lunch time.

Patsy now busied herself in the kitchen. Breakfast/lunch being her particular forte. She buttered some scones and poured the tea, placing everything on a tray and taking it into the bedroom.

Delia was already sat up and had brushed her hair. Patsy loved to see it down like this, it had gotten so long and a favourite pastime of hers was to brush it herself. Delia grinned as she saw the tray and revealed a dimple that Patsy couldn't help but kiss as she sat beside Delia.

"You spoil me." Delia said as she picked up the cup of tea and held it reverently in her her hands, blowing a cooling breath over it before placing the china to her lips.

Patsy took her own tea. "It looks like another bright day, I thought we could go out for a stroll before the sun disappears." She suggested.

"That would be lovely." Delia agreed, picking up a scone and layering some strawberry jam onto it.

"Then I promised Trixie we would pop over to Nonnatus, I hope you don't mind." Patsy asked.

"Of course not. It will be good to see her." Delia replied, genuinely pleased.

When Delia had arrived home on the evening of Patsy's great confession, she had found Patsy wide awake and grinning like a fool.

"I did it!" She announced as she came into the kitchen.

Delia had been quietly making herself a cup of cocoa before bed, giving herself chance to wind down and hadn't expected to see Patsy up and out of bed.

"That's nice." Delia replied automatically. "Did what?"

"I told Trixie. About us. I told her everything!" Patsy beamed proudly.

Delia's eyes widened. "Pats!" She said, closing the space between them and taking Patsy's two hands in her own. "You told her? You really did?"

"You didn't think I would?" Patsy challenged.

"I just knew that you'd find it difficult. You've been putting it off for so long." Delia dismissed the question with a shake of the head. "What did she say?"

"Well, in that sense it was a little anti-climatic I suppose. She said she knew. She had known for sometime. Since around the time you came to live at Nonnatus." Patsy explained.

"Really? Hmmm, it makes sense. It's not as if she's not a woman of the world." Delia supposed.

"And apparently she couldn't fail to miss you making eyes at me at every given opportunity." Patsy said seriously before her lip curled into a smile and the tip of her tongue appeared between her teeth.

Delia nudged her. "You mean _you_ drooling over _me_."

"Well, whatever. It seems she wasn't oblivious to the bed hopping." Patsy revealed.

Delia had the good grace to blush a little. "But she was obviously alright about it?"

"Yes. I do think I could have told her sooner but she knows now and it feels good." Patsy decided.

But right now all Patsy wanted to do was enjoy her morning in bed with Delia without thinking of Trixie, of Nurse Crane of Nonnatus or of Mrs Busby who would be arriving in two days time.

Xxx

"Yellow walls!" Mrs Busby commented as she entered the flat. "It's like drowning in a bowl of custard."

"Hello again Mrs Busby." Patsy greeted, her arms folded across her middle as she leant back against the kitchen counter.

Delia's mother seemed surprised to see Patsy there.

"The colour was Delia's choice, she says it feels warm, like sunshine and I have to say that I find it very cheery. Everybody says so." Patsy informed with a brisk smile. "Can I get everyone tea?" She moved swiftly on.

"Thanks Pats." Delia nodded and Patsy wasn't sure if she referred to the offer of tea or the defence of Delia's paint job. They had had such fun painting this room, getting rather a lot of paint on one another in the process. Patsy couldn't stand to hear Mrs Busby's negativity, not about the things she treasured, in particular the woman in question's own flesh and blood.

Patsy busied herself with tea making, taking out the biscuits that Delia had procured from Mrs B, in an attempt to charm her Mam. It was going to take more than biscuits, Patsy thought as she heard Mrs Busby comment on the view.

"Completely surrounded by buildings! So many people living right on top of each other like this." She shook her head to herself as she dared to take a seat, perched on the edge of the sofa.

Patsy asked about the journey and how Delia's father was as they drank their tea. It seemed he was fine and was sorry he couldn't make the visit but he was working harder than ever and that he sent Delia his love.

Delia was uncharacteristically quiet and Patsy couldn't believe that things were still so awkward, she wondered if mother and daughter would behave like this if Patsy wasn't here and decided that they could probably benefit from some privacy.

"I'm so sorry to dash off but Trixie popped in earlier, she absolutely has to see me about something, it will probably turn out to be nothing more than a dilemma over what to wear to one of her outings but I should go and check it out." Patsy announced as she finished her tea.

Delia looked imploringly at Patsy as she rose from her seat.

"Could I show you my room before I leave Mrs Busby?" Patsy thought to say. Feeling a little guilty as she saw Delia's expression. The plan had been for her to stay in tonight but she felt a little out of place. "It's the smaller of the two but I'm sure you'll be comfortable there." She smiled.

"Of course. I am very grateful to you for letting me use it. I told Delia I'd have been fine in with her or even out on the sofa." Mrs Busby nodded at the place she sat.

"Nonsense, this will be much more comfortable and Delia and I don't mind sharing." Patsy assured, trying not to take too much pleasure in the slightly raised unapproving brow that Delia's mother displayed. She couldn't really object though, not unless she was willing to flatly state what her objections were and each of them knew that was never going to happen.

Mrs Busby set down her teacup neatly in the saucer and rose to follow Patsy, with Delia hovering and then deciding to follow after.

"Here we are." Patsy said as she pushed open the door and invited Mrs Busby to enter the room before her.

"I'll get your bag Mam." Delia spoke as she shuffled past them down the hallway.

Mrs Busby came into the room and studied it as she turned in a complete circle. "I see you don't believe in clutter." She commented.

"I've shared a room at most times of my life so I haven't collected as many nick nacks as other girls my age. My room certainly doesn't have the character of Delia's…" Patsy agreed.

Mrs Busby moved to the one photograph in the room. A head shot of a woman a little older than Patsy but obviously taken many years earlier. Patsy's Mother. Patsy had almost left the picture in their room or put it away in a draw somewhere but she found she couldn't do it. Having Delia's mother here naturally made her think about her own mother. What would she have thought of Patsy as an adult? About Patsy and Delia? Would she have guessed? Would Patsy have confided in her? Would she approve? All things she would never know.

Patsy could see the question in Mrs Busby's eye as she looked closely at the frame and wondered if she would ask.

"My mother." Patsy informed.

"She's very glamorous." Mrs Busby remarked.

"Yes, she was." Patsy smiled in agreement.

Patsy saw something in Mrs Busby's eyes, a pity she had grown to recognise with ease but hadn't seen in awhile.

Delia came in through the bedroom door struggling with the bag. "Good grief Mam, what have you got in here?"

Xxx

Patsy hovered on the doorstep, very unlike the way she normally bounded into, what Delia often affectionately referred to as their "love nest". She had managed to creep into the flat unnoticed by Mrs Busby, who had long gone to bed, when she returned from seeing Trixie on her first night with them and yesterday she had been busy all day, only stopping at the flat for a change before Cubs.

Today Delia had taken her mother up west to the flicks. It seemed Mrs Busby was a fan of Doris Day and she was in a film with Cary Grant. But as Patsy stole a quick look at the fob watch pinned to her uniform she realised that they would no doubt have returned from their outing by now. Mrs Busby didn't like to be out after dark on these streets. Patsy let herself quietly into the flat and right away was met by the sound of slightly raised voices from the living room. She froze in the hallway, she didn't mean to eavesdrop but she was in two minds about whether she should go to Delia's side or straight to their room.

"You never mentioned being a midwife until _she_ came along!" Patsy heard as she leant against the cool solid wall.

"It isn't that Mam, I do have a mind of my own!" Delia shot back. Patsy recognised in her loves voice that she was barely keeping a lid on her anger.

"I used to think so, now I'm not so sure." Mrs Busby said firmly.

"I helped a baby to be born Mam, to survive! and even though I wasn't there, it was so powerful, hearing the cries, the relief of the Mother." Delia tried to explain, her voice breaking with genuine emotion now.

"This business with the lady on the telephone? That was one time and no you weren't there, you'll find it very different…" Mrs Busby began before Delia cut in again.

"Mam, I have already started the training, you know that, I'm not going to change my mind now. And anyway, I'm sure I'm doing the right thing. I'd be good at it Mam, I know I would, everyone says so. I'm good with people, they like me, they trust me and I understand the women round here. I'm wasted on Male surgical. If it's not the patients ogling you it's the Doctors."

Mrs Busby tutted loudly. "I just don't know why you want to go back to training again, you're a nurse, you can be a nurse anywhere."

"I have to be here, you know that." Delia said quickly.

"We have Hospitals in Wales too you know. Or you could get a job in one of the general practices." Mrs Busby suggested helpfully.

"It's no use Mam. I won't leave London, not now." Delia declared, determined. "Let's not spend what's left of your time here arguing about it."

"What am I supposed to do with you? Headstrong girl!" Mrs Busby fumed.

"Well, you know who I get that from." Delia huffed.

A moment of silence. Patsy wondered if she was safe to enter yet.

"I blame your Father." Mrs Busby said suddenly.

Patsy heard a burst of laughter, first Delia which she recognised instantly and then a laugh she hadn't heard before.

"You know we just worry about you Cariad." Mrs Busby said softly, such a new voice, hardly recognisable as her, to Patsy.

"You don't have to Mam, I'll be fine, really. I'm as good as new and better than that!" Delia assured. "Mam, please don't cry, you know I hate it when you cry!"

Patsy heard the faint sounds of sniffling and a stifled cry. She burned with guilt at being a somewhat unwitting witness to Mrs Busby's vulnerability. Patsy resolved to leave the flat for a while and touched her hand to the door handle.

"You never cried when you were a child." Patsy heard now, the tender voice of Mrs Busby. "You were always in scrapes, falling over, cutting your knees, even that time you broke your arm at Gilberts Farm. You hardly made a sound."

"Martin was the worst, he used to howl if he so much as got a scratch, do you remember?" Delia's voice carried the image of her smile at her fond recollection.

Patsy vaguely recalled Delia mentioning a cousin named Martin and she was reminded again of how different to their world was the world in which Delia lived with her family, before she came here, before she met Patsy.

"Yes and it was usually your fault he got the scratch in the first place." Mrs Busby teased. "Don't you miss it at all? Home? Your family?"

"Of course I do. It's not as if I won't be back again. It's just that I'm branching out. I've always wanted to see something of the world." Delia reasoned patiently.

Patsy let herself back out into the street and considered calling on Barbara, however she knew the house would be sitting to eat now and she couldn't interrupt. She would have to kill a little time with a walk instead.

"Hello Nurse!" Came a salutation from just over Patsy's shoulder.

Patsy turned to see the young lady she had briefly spoken with a couple of days ago on the doorstep again, she wondered if, wherever this girl was from, she was used to a lot of people around her, as she seemed like so many of the locals to spend more time on her doorstep than actually inside her home.

"Hello again. How are you today?" Patsy enquired, stepping down from her own doorstep with full intention to linger today.

"I'm well thanks. Tony's got a few days work so I've been trying to find something to do with myself. Truth is I'm bored out of my head Nurse." The girl confessed.

Shirley was rather plain but in a pretty enough way. Her hair was a dirty blonde, shoulder length and she wore it down with no particular style and little make up. She was very slim and almost as tall as Patsy. Patsy realised looking at her now that she was probably older than she had first imagined, but she had a childish, natural style about her.

"Oh, still, it's good that he's found something, isn't it?" Patsy asked next.

"Yes. We need the money, who doesn't? But he isn't used to that kind of work. Lugging stuff about. I worry he won't be able to keep up or he'll get into bother." Shirley admitted. "He can be...a little...hotheaded."

Patsy raised a brow with a look of some concern.

"Oh, not with me nurse!" Shirley laughed as she caught Patsy's look. "He's a pussy cat with me. Just wants to take care of me. It's the other men… they never seem to like him. I know it bothers him."

Patsy could imagine that a man like Tony, who obviously spent time grooming himself and was a small and good looking sort of a man would not do well with some of the tougher London lads.

Patsy cast a look at the window of her own flat and the lights shining brightly, Delia and her Mother would be up for a while yet. Shirley watched her keenly and smiled.

"You want to come in for a cuppa Nurse Patsy? The girl asked. Patsy couldn't quite place her accent, it sounded as if the girl was trying to adapt it to the clipped brisk tones of the local women but was failing to disguise that she was much more softly spoken herself. "Keep me company for a little while?" She almost pleaded.

"That would be very nice." Patsy accepted graciously, following Shirley through the open front door.

"Was that Delia's Mother I saw her going out with earlier?" Shirley asked now as she hurried to fill her kettle.

Patsy had no idea that the girl knew who Delia was, but of course she should have guessed. Delia quickly seemed to have learned the names and basic details of all their neighbours and Patsy would occasionally come home to find her chatting amiably in the hallway. Patsy was more accustomed to smiling politely and moving on.

"Yes, Mrs Busby is staying with us for a couple of days. She is down from Wales." Patsy informed, careful not to betray a sense of how she felt about that.

Shirley looked over at her and smiled. "That must be a little awkward." She offered sympathetically.

Patsy tensed. What exactly did this girl think she knew and how could she dare to be so informal with Patsy when they had virtually just met.

"I mean, these flats are not that big and the two of you must be used to doing your own thing." Shirley added now.

Patsy relaxed a little. "Yes, true. But it's only for a couple of days. We'll manage."

"Delia's lot's of fun, you two must have a great time." Shirley marvelled as she took down the only two mugs on the shelf and gave them a rinse.

"I suppose so. We work a lot, shifts and so on, so it's not all fun and games." Patsy assured feeling a little guarded at the line of questioning.

"No, of course not. Delia says you're a midwife?"Shirley asked determined not to notice Patsy's slightly uncomfortable demeanor.

"That's right. With the midwives of Nonnatus house." Patsy replied. "We used to live there, Delia and I."

Shirley brought the mugs over and directed Patsy to take the seat by the window, which must have been Shirley's own seat where she would sit and watch for people passing.

"That must be difficult work. I remember once staying up all night with a Ewe that was having trouble during lambing, that was bad enough." Shirley recalled, blowing at her tea.

"You lived on a farm?" Patsy asked.

"No. Nearby. There were a few farms around where I grew up and I used to help out sometimes. My friends worked on the farms with their families." Shirley explained.

"That must have been wonderful. The only Lambs you see in Poplar and Mrs B's Lamb chops." Patsy quipped. "It must have been very different to here. Now I can see why you might feel a little penned in here." Patsy nodded to the front door that was wedged open as wide as it could be with the view of the noisy street just beyond.

"I don't miss it." Shirley sighed. "And you'd be surprised how trapped you can feel in a wide open space Nurse Mount." Shirley said wisely.

The two shared their drinks quietly, each in quiet contemplation and Patsy noticed that the breeze from the door had turned a little bitter and the skies had darkened.

"I think I should be heading upstairs." Patsy excused herself finally. "Thank you ever so much for the tea."

"Anytime." Shirley replied. "Thank you for the chat. It's nice to make a friend."

Patsy raised a brow in surprise. She wasn't really used to making friends other than with colleagues. Delia had a much wider social network than Patsy. Perhaps a new friend would be a good idea.

Xxx

"Deels?" Patsy whispered as she crept into the bedroom. The light was out and there was a Delia shaped lump in the bed but Patsy somehow knew right away that Delia wasn't asleep.

No reply. Patsy padded over to the bed and knelt down beside it, bringing her face to face with Delia, who she could see in the gloom, had eyes open and was looking right at her.

"Deels? Are you alright?" Patsy whispered anxiously.

"I'm fine Pats, why wouldn't I be?" Delia asked. And right then Patsy knew she was in trouble.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I was talking to one of our neighbours. The young girl across from us. I think she's lonely. She practically dragged me in from the street." Patsy exaggerated slightly.

"It's alright." Delia said softly, she slipped one hand from beneath the blanket she held tightly up around her shoulders and covered Patsy's hand with her own. "I missed you."

"How was today?" Patsy asked. But she could tell from the tired, defeated way that Delia spoke that things with her Mother had not much improved since Patsy had snuck out of the flat undetected earlier.

Delia didn't answer. "Get in here." She ordered, tugging at Patsy's wrist.

"Alright." Patsy agreed, taking back her hand and standing to change out of her clothes.

Delia watched every move Patsy made carefully, by the dim light that shone from the lamp on the night stand. Patsy took her long night shirt from the draw and finally peeled away her stockings and underwear, trying not to meet the eyes that watched her and still blushing slightly at the certain knowledge that they did. She could almost feel the gaze on her skin, following her movements.

Patsy slid into bed beside Delia, who turned to meet her and slipped her arms around the longer frame before Patsy had chance to fully lie down. Delia pulled her close and buried her face into Patsy's neck. The bed was as warm and inviting as Delia herself.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Patsy asked as Delia placed her lips to her lover's throat, first gently and then with more urgency, sucking a little at the skin before moving to cover lips with lips and hands to hips.

Patsy quickly forgot her own question and found herself lost in Delia's kisses. Delia needed her to make everything outside of this room go away and she was happy to oblige.

 _A/N- Thank you to all for reviews/reading/following. This ran a little longer than I expected so a little more Mama Busby in next chapter._


	4. Chapter 4

Hush Hush 4

"Oh!" Trixie let out as she stepped out into garden area of Nonnatus. "Patsy! I thought you left ages ago?"

"Fred said I could take a look in the shed for an old window box and some pots. I wanted to spruce the outside of the flat up a little, just because it's a communal yard, doesn't mean that people wouldn't appreciate some colour." Patsy explained from her place kneeling on the ground as she dragged a crate full of cobwebs out into the open and swiped her hand at the cloud of accompanying dust.

Trixie stayed well back and sat down, lighting a cigarette. "Sounds urgent." She quipped.

Patsy glared a little at her friend. "Perhaps I was happy to find a reason not to go straight home tonight."

Trixie shook her head disapprovingly. "I thought you said that Mrs Busby knew about you and Delia?" Trixie asked, cocking her head to one side and frowning quizzically.

Patsy looked sharply at Trixie for an instant, her eyes flicking to check the vicinity. They were quite alone and yet Patsy wasn't used to speaking so freely, even with Delia, not out in the open like this.

"She wouldn't say so!" Patsy exhaled a sigh. "Not in so many words."

"However... She knows and she knows that you know that she knows?" Trixie theorised wisely.

"Precisely!" Patsy confirmed. "Of course, Delia likes to imagine that she doesn't know anything and most of the time Mrs Busby will play the part, asking about the handsome new Doctor and such, but it's all a nonsense."

"Sounds exhausting." Trixie remarked. "But you can't put off going home forever. Though I didn't realise the shed could look so orderly, but I'm sure Delia won't thank you for abandoning her."

"I'm not...exactly abandoning her… I'm just allowing them to have some time…" Patsy tried.

Trixie's face said it all.

"I don't do family!" Patsy defended. "My Father and I have our own lives, we have had for so long now."

"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way sweetie. When you make a commitment to spend your life with someone, you take on their family too, it's part of the deal and that goes for those who are officially married and those who are as good as." Trixie smiled a dazzling smile as she exhaled a cloud of smoke in Patsy's direction.

"I'll go and see Mrs Busby before she leaves." Patsy conceded pulling herself to her feet and brushing away the dust that covered her, reaching for the rest of Trixie's cigarette without a word.

"Oh Nurse! Patsy! There you are!" A nearby voice made Patsy's head turn. "Please come and see my Tony. He's hurt and he won't let me get the Doctor." Patsy's young neighbour had appeared out of nowhere, looking distressed.

"Of course, Shirley, we'll come right away." Patsy tossed her head in Trixie's direction and caught sight of her quickly stubbing out her cigarette that Patsy had passed back to her.

"No, best if it's just you Patsy. He'll be mad I brought anyone at all." Shirley pleaded.

"How badly hurt is he?" Patsy asked, trying to size up whether she would need to insist on backup. The red head checked up and down the street to make sure nobody was watching her next move and then placed a foot up onto the nearest chimney pot before vaulting over the metal railing. Thank goodness for slacks and for her higher than average height.

"He's just a bit bashed around, he's bleeding but …" Shirley stumbled breathlessly over her words.

"He's conscious? He was talking to you?" Patsy tried to ascertain.

"Yes." Shirley nodded. "And he managed to get home by himself...somehow."

They made it to the flats in just a few minutes, Shirley struggling to keep up with Patsy.

Shirley let them into the flat and led Patsy through to the bedroom where Tony sat up on the bed, his face contorted with pain, until he noticed Patsy and then his face was full of fury.

"Shirley!? I told you I don't need anyone. It looks worse than it is Nurse. Just a split lip." Tony held up the piece of cloth he had screwed up in his fist and held to his lip.

"Let her see Tony please!" Shirley begged moving quickly to him and reaching for his side where he seemed to flinch in pain.

"I suppose you could take a look at my foot." Tony allowed. " I dropped something on it…." He nodded gingerly to the right side, the foot propped up on the bed.

Patsy moved to where Tony's foot was, midway down the bed and took it in hand, gently but quickly peeling away the sock. Tony sucked the air between his teeth and tensed as his foot was exposed. Patsy could easily see why. The foot was swelling badly, was red and bruising and the large toe had a large dark marking beneath the nail.

"Yes, it looks painful." Patsy commented calmly. "Must have been something heavy?" She enquired casually.

"Tony, you haven't been fighting again have you? You said you wouldn't. You promised. You were just going to keep your head down and get the job done." Shirley reminded anxiously.

"I wasn't fighting alright? You don't know what it's like." Tony muttered. "I'm the new boy, I have to prove I can do the work. They wanted to see exactly how much I could handle, so they had me lifting the heavy stuff on my own… usually two of the boys do it together but I wanted to show them I could do it." Tony spoke to Shirley alone, holding onto her hand and Patsy pretended not to listen.

"You walked home on this foot?" Patsy asked with a brow raised in judgement.

"Yes." Tony replied flatly.

"Well you should stay off it for a while. Shirley if you can get something cold to place on it, to try and reduce the swelling. I would advise you to go to the hospital, they would be able to check for fractured bones…"

"I'm not going to a hospital…" Tony interrupted loudly, almost making to get up off the bed.

Patsy raised a hand palm open to the young man, an appeal for calm. "An untreated fracture, left to heal by itself may result in a deformity, it could be something that affects you for the rest of your life. I would think carefully about not seeking proper medical attention. They could give you something for the pain too." She advised sternly, ignoring his words.

Tony turned his attention back to Shirley. "Why didn't you get the other one, I'm sure she has a much sweeter bedside manner."

"If Nurse Franklin attended the bedside of all the injured young men in Poplar we would have a problem with any of you getting out to do a day's work." Patsy fired back, she was well used to requests for Trixie by the males of Poplar.

Tony looked confused, turning from Patsy back to Shirley.

"No, he means Delia. He like's nurse Busby." Shirley corrected Patsy's assumption.

Of course. Patsy had forgotten that the couple were already acquainted with her partner. She tempered the twinge of irrational jealousy with a touch of pride in the obvious good impression the welsh nurse had made on the couple, Shirley not seeming unhappy that her husband was expressing a liking for Delia.

"Oh, well…today you're stuck with me I'm afraid." Patsy stumbled. "Is there any pain anywhere else? Your back? If you're lifting heavy loads you are putting your back at risk. If you don't know what you're doing you could end up…"

"I know what I'm doing!" Tony snapped fiercely.

"Tony!" Shirley reprimanded him, a hand going to his forearm and circling it.

The move seemed to have the desired effect and the young man cast his eyes down to the floor before looking sheepishly at Patsy.

"I'm sorry Nurse. I know you mean well, but I can't go to the hospital. Anything you can do for me here would be appreciated." Tony said quietly, seeming all of a sudden like an insecure child rather than the tough man he was trying to portray.

Shirley smiled so adoringly at the man beside her that for a moment Patsy couldn't take her eyes from the pair and a silence filled the room.

Patsy sighed and held up her hands. "I suppose we can make you comfortable and wait for the swelling to come down before we see exactly how much damage has been done."

Xxx

Delia was dressed in her nurse's uniform, her lilac puff shoulders always made her look impossibly feminine, no matter the life she was saving or the unspeakably disgusting task she was carrying out in the name of her work

.

Patsy looked around to find Mrs Busby seated on the sofa, her hat and coat on her lap and a very unhappy look on her face. The midwife had the distinct impression that she'd come home at a poorly timed moment.

"Patsy." Delia greeted quietly and with some relief. "Your home."

"Yes. Hello. Mrs Busby." Patsy nodded cautiously.

"I have to cover a shift at work and Mam was supposed to go to Auntie Blods tonight but she's just received word that Barry's Mam has taken ill. Auntie Blods had to go and sit with her. Mam's going to have to stay another night." Delia looked desperately at Patsy.

Patsy tried not to let the disappointment show in her face and so gave a large slightly crazed smile. "Of course! We can keep each other company, we'll be fine"

"I don't want to be putting anyone out. I can take myself off to bed early and keep out of your way. If you had any plans, you just carry on regardless." Mrs Busby instructed.

Delia looked stricken between her mother and Patsy and Patsy suddenly realised exactly how much it hurt her that the two women she loved most in the world could barely manage to be civil with one another. Patsy almost moved too close but halted after one step and refrained from reaching out.

"It's fine Delia. I would really like to spend some time with your Mother, if she's willing?" Patsy cast a pleading look toward the woman on the sofa. "I was just thinking what a terrible shame it had been that we hadn't had chance to talk while she was here, and here is a golden opportunity." Patsy smiled convincingly enough.

Mrs Busby looked surprised, as did Delia, yet the latter pleasantly so.

"Mam?" Delia checked. "You'll be alright?"

Mrs Busby sniffed but unfolded the hands on her lap. "You get along before you're late Cariad." She instructed firmly. "You know how Matron is."

Delia turned to Patsy with a grateful look and gave her a quick wink as she passed. "I'll see you both in the morning?" She checked again.

Patsy nodded with just a quick touch to Delia's elbow as she passed. "Have a good shift."

She heard the door to the flat close a moment later and smiled over at Mrs Busby. "Cup of tea?" She asked.

Xxx

Patsy had run out of questions to ask about Auntie Blod and who Barry and his Mother were? The polite conversation drying up really rather quickly and now she wondered if she should just get to the point of things and speak openly to this woman. Afterall she had demonstrated that her priority was to keep Delia safe and that was something they had in common at least.

Patsy set down her teacup into the saucer and onto the table. "Mrs Busby. Can we speak honestly. I feel like we need to clear the air."

Mrs Busby nodded her consent, still sitting straight backed on the edge of the sofa, her hat and coat now sitting beside her.

"You don't approve of me very much I know that, but it would make Delia happy if we could try and get along. If we got to know each other better perhaps…" Patsy suggested politely.

"It's not that I don't like you…" Mrs Busby began. "I'm a little wary of you I suppose and truth be told I don't think you think very highly of me, it feels like you look down on us, with your London ways and you're popping over to Paris! Delia has had a very different upbringing to you, you have to understand, she's been sheltered."

Patsy almost laughed out loud. Is that really how it seemed to Mrs Busby? When to her Delia had always been the more daring, the more knowledgeable. Patsy often felt that where Delia led, she would follow. Growing up in rural Wales had never seemed to make her love cautious or naive, in fact the opposite could be said.

Patsy's jaw tensed and her mouth clamped shut on her initial response. "I'm sorry if I have given the impression that I think ill of you… I can be...a little cool with people…sometimes, colder than I mean to be." Patsy admitted then sighed at the realisation that she was still containing herself, not giving an inch. In for a penny.

"You are responsible for raising Delia, so I think you must be really rather wonderful…" Deep down. She added in her thoughts. Just how deep she wasn't sure. "I think, we have been a little at cross purposes and we should start again? Please? For Delia."

Again Mrs Busby looked taken aback, She took a sip of her tea as she decided exactly how to proceed and it was a long moment before she spoke again.

"When Delia had the accident, seeing her like that, so helpless. She was like my baby again. When she came home, she was like a child. She needed me for everything. Letting your child go once is hard enough… most of the families around where we live still have their girls in the village. They have Sunday dinner together, they help out with the grandchildren. I knew early on that Delia wasn't like those girls, that she'd want different things, but when she came home I thought... Now she'll have to stay. I've got her back. Maybe she'd have got all this career and travel out of her system."Mrs Busby smiled sadly.

"You can't change who she is...Even the accident couldn't stop her… not for long, she's formidable, I'm so proud of the way she got her life back and it would mean a lot if you could be too." Patsy appealed.

Mrs Busby studied Patsy silently.

"You might never know what it is like to become a mother Patsy. No matter how many times you see it happen. Only a mother can truly understand that bond. I could only ever want Delia to be happy. I know that right now and for a while, you have been what makes her happy. That will have to be good enough for me." Mrs Busby finished.

They seemed to have called a truce for now and Patsy, saying nothing moved back into the armchair she occupied, happy to drop the subject and shortly excuse herself for the night, when she heard Mrs Busby begin again.

"That first Christmas, after her accident, she was so looking forward to coming back to London… but she didn't mention Poplar, didn't mention you. I thought finally, maybe she'd put thoughts of you behind her. I kept her busy… she seemed back to her old self except she got tired more easily, so I didn't force her to come to the carol service. The minute my back was turned she was on that bus… she left me a note, incase she didn't get back before us, which she didn't, I'd hurried back to make sure she was alright. I knew then. When she got back. The smile on her face, she couldn't hide it, she was walking on air. I hadn't seen her like that, not since the accident. Not in a long time. I knew then. I knew I couldn't keep her. She'd already gone again." Mrs Busby's words were heavy.

Patsy twisted her hands together trying to put away her own joy from that time, her relief, her hope and think about how it may have felt for Mrs Busby. "I know it must have been terrifying for you…"

"It still is… we've had to have a telephone installed. People think we're getting carried away with ourselves. But I need to know that if anything happens to her again…"

"It won't…" Patsy cut in. "I won't let it. I swear to you Mrs Busby. I won't ever let anything happen to Delia…"

"I know you must believe that Patsy…" Mrs Busby held her handkerchief to her face, dabbing at the corners of her eyes that shined with barely contained tears.

Patsy had never heard Mrs Busby say her name quite like that.

"...and when you're young and you're in… in love… it does feel that way. You feel unbreakable, unstoppable. But the world can be a cruel place and you just might find that there comes a day when you wish that you'd been forgotten." Mrs Busby warned seriously.

"No matter what happens I shall never wish that!" Patsy was adamant. "Never!" Patsy repeated. "If everything I have was taken from me today I would not regret one moment I've spent with your daughter… and believe me Mrs Busby… I am well acquainted with how cruel the world can be." Patsy's words were said with sheer grit and defiance, she found herself standing, a fist clenched, she took herself quickly to the kitchen and turned her back on Delia's mother.

Xxx

Patsy had taken down her hair, washed, put on her pajamas, a dressing gown and while she had performed this routine one question ate away at her, the one she hadn't asked. Patsy heard a sound in the sitting room and made her way towards it.

"You're still up?" She announced her reappearance with the question.

"Yes, I was just about to get ready for bed." Mr Busby replied, delivering her teacup to the kitchen sink, running it beneath the tap and quickly placing it upside down on the draining board as Patsy waited.

"Can I ask you something? Before you do?" Patsy asked uncertainly from the doorway.

"What is it?" Mrs Busby asked, a weariness in her voice. It was late. In their own way they were both waiting for Delia's return.

"What happened to the letters she wrote to me? I never received them. One or even two I could blame the Royal Mail, but three?" Patsy questioned.

"I never posted them." Mrs Busby admitted frankly.

Patsy had known this was the case but the confirmation still angered her, the only sign of this, the balling of a fist and the slight clench of her jaw.

"Do you still have them?" Patsy asked swallowing her rage.

"I put them in the fire. I didn't want them lying around to be discovered." Mrs Busby explained calmly.

"They were meant for me." Patsy said "I'll never know what they said, what she was thinking. You took her away and then you left me without word..."

"I'm sorry for that now. I thought it was for the best." Mrs Busby offered.

"You knew even then." Patsy concluded with a nod.

"The first memories to come back were when she was asleep, she'd wake up and ask for the nurse, I thought she meant someone at the hospital, but she wouldn't calm down and then she said it one night. She had a dream and she woke up crying, shaking she was. I was holding her and she said your name, over and over." Mrs Busby's voice finally carried some depth of emotion.

Patsy pushed herself off from the door frame and quickly swiped at the solitary tear that had sprung from her eye.

"Goodnight Mrs Busby." Patsy said as she escaped to the bedroom and shut herself inside. Patsy crawled up onto Delia's side of the bed and took up her pillow, squeezing it closely to her, catching Delia's scent, a reassurance that her lover had really been there. Was really coming home.

Xxx

A/N- sorry it took a while, busy Easter! Thanks for reading xx


	5. Chapter 5

Hush Hush 5

Xxx

"How was last night love?" Delia asked from where she sat at the foot of the bed, mug in hand, watching Patsy sleep and now noticing her slowly waking.

"Interesting." Patsy said, blinking sleepily into the new day following yet another unsatisfactory night of trying to sleep without Delia.

Delia looked concerned and fell quiet as Patsy sat up, stretched and yawned.

"What!? You didn't have words? Mam didn't upset you did she?" Delia asked anxiously, a deep frown and a dark glare sent towards the door and her mother, somewhere on the other side.

Patsy considered Delia's obvious concern. It struck her as funny that although Delia found it almost impossible to stand up to her mother on her own behalf, Patsy could well imagine Delia pushed to stand up to her if she ever truly upset Patsy.

"No, I mean it. Your mother was very honest with me and... she didn't ask me to call her Mam or anything but I think perhaps we understand each other a little better." Patsy assured with a half shrug.

"Really?" Delia asked skeptically.

"Really. We found we have something very important in common." Patsy smiled, reaching a hand across the bed to Delia.

"Your love of Welsh cakes?" Delia guessed.

"You could say that." Patsy caught Delia's hand and moved up on to her knees so that she could crawl before Delia. "We both love you and we want you to be happy." Patsy climbed half into Delia's lap and took a lock of her hair between her fingers.

"You told my mother that?" Delia asked calmly her arms circling Patsy and holding her in place.

"She already knew, but yes I told her that. Is that...alright? Shouldn't I …" Patsy asked, suddenly uncertain.

"I'm glad." Delia announced. "I want her to know… I think…" Delia smiled and kissed Patsy on the tip of her nose, before Patsy impatiently placed her lips to her girlfriends.

Patsy plucked at the buttons of Delia's uniform, managing to pop one open as she moved up in her position on her knees, the hem rising on her checked bed shirt, exposing thigh that was quickly covered with Delia's roaming hand.

"Are you coming to bed?" Patsy asked coyly against Delia's ear.

Delia bent to place her forgotten drink on the floor just beneath their bed.

"Don't you have to be getting up?" Delia teased with a wicked grin.

Patsy couldn't help but dart a glance at the bedside clock, although from the pre dawn colour of the sky she guessed they had a little time.

"Not yet." Patsy grinned, slipping her hand inside Delia's uniform and pushing the material over her shoulder, placing her lips quickly to the warm newly exposed skin, helping Delia to take off her uniform.

Delia held back for just a moment longer before she quickly shuffled out of her clothes and jumped beneath the bed covers. Patsy following behind her and scooping Delia neatly into her body. Their lips met as did the skin of their legs, hands on waists, back, shoulders.

"I missed you." Patsy confessed within a sigh.

"I always miss you." Delia admitted honestly, no great surprise to either of them, but they said it for themselves as much as for one another and simply because they could.

Xxx

"Mam? You're ready to go already? You don't have to rush off." Delia said as she finally emerged from the bedroom, her hair wet but fully clothed and not far off being presentable.

"Oh, there you are, I thought I heard you moving about." Mrs Busby said from the small hallway, where she had picked up her battered suitcase that had been sitting by the door.

"I'm almost ready, I'm sorry I slept so long, I must have been more tired than I realised." Delia offered weakly.

"That's alright, I'm not off just yet. Patsy said it would be alright for me to stay another night and then I'm going straight back home. Your Auntie Blods going to busy for a while and I don't want to be getting in the way." Mrs Busby explained. "I'm Just popping this back in Patsy's room." She indicated the suitcase.

"Oh that sounds good." Delia wondered when her Mother and Patsy had made these arrangements? Patsy hadn't mentioned anything. "I'll be in to make us a brew in a few minutes, alright?" Delia checked.

Mrs Busby nodded and moved back to the sitting room. "Of course, you take your time."

Delia watched her go, a slightly puzzled feeling, did she seem different today? What exactly had passed between her Mother and her Partner whilst she was away? She would need to find out. She and Patsy had become a little distracted that morning and she hadn't managed to get many coherent details from her love afterwards, not before Patsy had had to rush out to work again.

Xxx

"I hope you don't mind Mrs Busby, about the girls coming round this evening, It's just that Barbara has some news to share and if she has to hold off another night I think she is in great danger of exploding." Patsy explained somewhat excitedly.

"What news?" Delia demanded suspiciously.

"It's not for me to say…" Patsy mumbled, refusing to meet Delia's searching gaze.

"Oh Pats! She's not?" Delia burst suddenly. "She's having a baby!?"

Mrs Busby watched the scene with curious interest and surprise when her daughter suddenly threw her arms tightly around Patsy.

"It's supposed to be a secret." Patsy told Mrs Busby over Delia's head which was pressed against her shoulder, one of Patsy's arms coming around the shorter woman in half a return of her hug.

Mrs Busby nodded. "She'll be wanting to tell people herself I shouldn't wonder."

"We shall have to put on a good show of not knowing. Trixie let it slip first and now I rather wish she hadn't!" Patsy admitted.

Delia pulled away from Patsy and straightened herself up. "I'm so happy for them." She smiled, a sheen visible in her eyes.

Patsy smiled adoringly at her. "They'll be wonderful parents. But please! Don't let on that you know until she tells us." Patsy requested.

Delia nodded seriously. "Of course."

"My lips are sealed." Mrs Busby assured, happy to play along.

The first arrivals of the evening were Trixie and the woman of the hour, Barbara.

"Hello darlings! How nice of you to invite us over." Trixie beamed, holding out a small offering to her hosts. Gone was the customary bottle of spirits, replaced by a small bunch of flowers, accepted just as gratefully.

"So good of you to come!" Patsy replied instinctively, already giving away a little of the added formality she felt at the evening, caused in turn by her mother-in law's presence and also the momentous news she was expecting to hear.

Barbara wore a fixed grin as she shuffled inside the flat, politely greeting Mrs Busby before taking a seat quietly.

Patsy poured some glasses of wine and passed them around, just as another knock on the door sounded.

"I'll go." Delia announced as she dashed out of the room. Reappearing a moment later with Nurse Crane and Cynthia in tow.

"Mrs Busby!" Phyllis called as she entered. "How nice to see you! I'd heard you were visiting. I suppose I can let my hair down a little with you here to take up the motherly duties."

Mrs Busby looked a little surprised but nodded her assent. "Nurse Crane, Sister. A pleasure as always."

"Oh call me Phyllis! I'm off duty tonight!" Phyllis instructed cheerfully. It had taken a long time for Phyllis Crane to find the role she was comfortable with in this little unit. Being somewhat older than the other midwives she struggled for a while with finding that balance between mentor and friend, she supposed others had struggled with exactly where to place her also but after all they had seen and accomplished together it was times like this that she felt every bit "one of the girls".

Phyllis gave her coat to Delia and took a seat. "My haven't the girls done a good job of scrubbing up this place!" Phyllis directed at Delia's mother. "Not surprising with Nurse Mounts organisational skills, but I think it must be your daughter who has the more creative flair."

Cynthia moved away to greet Patsy and Delia, saying hello to Trixie as she did so.

"I...yes, I mean it's the first I have seen of it, but I suppose it's comfortable." Mrs Busby agreed flatly.

"Oh maybe not to our exact tastes, fashions move on of course, but such a homely feel, so cosy! Must be nice to have all this space to oneself, I wouldn't know what to do with it all. Still there is something about communal living, all the coming and going that suits me well enough." Phyllis chatted agreeably.

"It is strange when you first have a home of your own. When Tom and I married he was quite set in his ways about some things, having lived alone for so long. And of course I was so used to accommodating others..." Barbara confessed, sitting primly beside Phyllis.

"I'm sure you quickly trained him out of all his bad habits Barbara!" Trixie joined in, standing by the window with Patsy.

"Lets just say he's still in training." Barbara grinned mischievously.

"I could say the same of Delia's father." Mrs Busby let out suddenly and all gathered turned to look at her before the laughter broke.

With that Delia headed to the kitchen for a plate of nibbles and Patsy and Trixie set up the record player.

The evening got off on a pleasant footing and everyone relaxed into conversation. Sister Mary Cynthia recounting Sister Monica Joan's latest adventures in cake theft and an update on how Sister Julienne was managing with a young women who had fallen pregnant despite taking the contraceptive pill.

Barbara had been quiet, waiting for the right moment to make her announcement and finally a natural quiet descended upon the room and she moved forward in her seat, pulling the hem of her skirt straight and clearing her throat exaggeratedly.

"Alright Mrs Hereward? You have something to share?" Phyllis asked from her side, finally drawing the attention of the room to Barbara.

"Yes." Barbara mumbled, getting up from her seat slowly and a little uncertain. "Actually I had something I wanted to tell you all, since we're all together. I mean I'll have to tell the sisters on another occasion… very soon...but I wanted you all to be the first to know."

"Do get on with it Barbara!" Trixie urged, leaning forward now too.

"I, that is Tom and I, we are going to become... we are having… a child!" Barbara declared quickly, fumbling over the words slightly as if she didn't quite believe them herself.

"Jolly Good!" Patsy roared.

"Fantastic news!" Delia seconded.

"Yes, wonderful!" Cynthia agreed getting up from her seat to offer Barbara her arms in a friendly embrace.

Trixie sighed with relief. "Thank goodness for that." She mumbled as a further round of congratulations went around.

"This calls for some of the good stuff!" Patsy announced, bending to the cupboard beneath the record player which Barbara now realised was a drinks cabinet and plucking from it a bottle of what she suspected was champagne.

"Lovely news!" Phyllis said at Barbara's ear. "It couldn't happen to a nicer pair."

Barbara looked around at the faces of her friends as Patsy moved around the room splashing the bubbly nectar into people glasses. "I won't get the flutes out I don't think we have enough to go round.." She explained, passing Trixie without stopping.

An idea suddenly occurred to Barbara that once she had let cross her mind she knew with absolute certainty was pretty well spot on.

"You all knew, didn't you?!" She asked loudly.

The chatter ceased for a moment before Phyllis saved the day as ever. "We are all midwives…" She reminded.

Trixie who had begun to look a little guilty now smiled widely. "Of course we are!"

"I had suspected as much when we had to stop on the way from Mrs Henley's delivery for you to throw up last week." Cynthia divulged.

Barbara looked a little like the wind had been taken out of her sails as Patsy reached her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"We are all absolutely delighted for you and Tom Barbara, you will make the perfect parents!" Patsy said sincerely, a lump forming in her throat and placing a kiss to Barbara's cheek.

"But the question is…" Patsy said as she pulled away and glanced around the room. "Who on earth is going to be your midwife!?"

The room became rowdy again before Phyllis raised her glass and made her voice clear above the others. "Congratulations! And three cheers for the mother to be!" She boomed.

"Hip hip hooray!" The party cheered.

Xxx

Mrs Bubsy seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed the evening despite being something of an outsider, she had consented to a glass of fizz and was now back on the sherry and feeling quite mellow as the evening quietened down and promised to come to an end.

Sister Mary Cynthia had left and Phyllis has promised that she would shortly be behind her. Mrs Busby watched her daughter from the other side of the room as she and Patsy seemed to be giggling at something that the Barbara girl was quietly telling them and that seemed to be making her blush.

At this moment Trixie made her way back from the bathroom and sat herself beside Mrs Busby.

"What a simply marvelous evening, surrounded by friends. Perhaps some consolation for you having been stuck here a little longer than expected?" Trixie proposed.

"Yes, I suppose it has been nice to stay a little longer." Mrs Busby agreed surprising herself with the truth of the admission.

"I hope Mrs Busby, that tonight will reassure you that your daughter really is well taken care of here." Trixie began.

"It's good to know she has friends." Mrs Busby agreed, looking to Trixie's cup of tea and wondering just why this young women was not drinking while everyone other than Barbara and the young Sister seemed to have been indulging a little.

Mrs Busby suddenly wished that her own alcohol consumption hadn't numbed her senses quite so much, then she could work out exactly what she thought this meant, instead she stared in puzzlement at Trixie's tea cup.

Trixie tipped the cup in her direction and winked a little. "You see Mrs Busby, we all have our secrets here, we many of us have demons, but we are here for each other no matter what." Trixie made the vow fiercely, though through a pleasant smile.

"Everyone in this room cares about your daughter and about Patsy. I for one have always felt their unswerving support and I am sure I would not be alone in standing beside them whatever troubles they may face in the future."

Mrs Busby looked almost fearfully into Trixie's eyes, where the young blondes meaning was made completely clear. Mrs Busby had not considered that any of Delia's friends or colleagues would be aware of the true nature of her relationship with Nurse Mount, not to mention quite so open about their support of it. Mrs Busby finished her sherry.

Xxx

"It's been good to have you Mam, really." Delia said as she saw the arrival of the bus in the distance.

Mrs Busby noticed it too. "Yes, at least I can picture you now, where you are and that you're safe. It wouldn't do any harm for you to ring us up a little more often and tell us how your getting on."

Delia nodded. "Mam. I hope you can see how happy I am…" She dared, taking her Mother's hand in her own, as tears formed in her eyes.

Delia heard the sounds of footsteps beating on the pavement beside them and turned to witness a flushed and flustered Patsy make her last minute arrival.

"I'm awfully sorry Mrs Busby, I had to change uniform, you don't want to know what I was covered in, believe me… but I just caught you at least…" Patsy breathed heavily. Noticing now the look on Delia's face and wondering what she had burst in on.

"Is everything alright?" She asked the pair, looking largely at Delia.

"It's fine." Mrs Busby assured, using her loose hand to pat the top of Delia's. "I was just saying to Delia that you both made me feel very welcome. We do hope to see you both in Pembrokeshire for Christmas though, if not before. I'm sure Delia will be wanting to finally show you where she comes from Patsy."

Delia looked quickly to her partner.

"That sounds...fabulous Mrs Busby." Patsy agreed, holding her hand out for a firm handshake to cement the deal.

"It's Joan." Mrs Busby informed a shocked redhead. "You can call me Joan."

The bus pulled up beside the scene and Delia quickly wrapped her arms around her Mother.

"Love you Mam." Delia mumbled into the embrace.

Patsy took up Mrs Busby's case and went to secure it in the luggage rack, giving Delia and her mother a moment.

"Take care Cariad." Mrs Busby said tearfully, touching a hand to Delia's hair, before turning and making her way onto the bus, with a wave.

Xxx

A/N- Thank you to everyone reading.


	6. Chapter 6

Hush Hush 6

A/N- I don't speak French and I'm not a nurse, plus I don't get paid for this so research is minimal. It's just for fun folks. Sorry it took a while, Wife has been away and single parenting is busy!

Patsy slipped her arm through Delia's as they walked home having said goodbye to Mrs Busby. Delia was quiet and thoughtful and Patsy let her be until she halted in the street.

"Would you?" Delia asked as if the pair had been mid conversation.

Patsy arched a brow, a request for clarification.

"Come home with me. I mean… back to Pembrokeshire, one day? Soon?" Delia expanded.

"Of course I will." Patsy replied quickly. "There isn't anywhere I wouldn't go with you Delia Busby."

Delia grinned and turned back, leaning a little into Patsy's side and revelling in the contact as they set off together toward home.

As they reached the familiar steps, the sounds of a wireless reached them and a familiar face looked out from the window facing their doorway, Patsy let her arm fall away from Delia.

"Hello ladies." Shirley greeted. "Your Mam get off alright Delia?"

"Yes thanks." Delia replied. "And all told I think it was a much better visit than I expected."

"See, I told you there was nothing to worry about. I knew your Patsy would charm her in the end." Shirley winked.

Patsy span round just as she'd got the door open a look of alarm directed at a very calm Delia.

"That's right Shirl, see you later." Delia waved, moving past Patsy and into the flat.

"Oh Patsy! No need to rush but if you wouldn't mind calling in at some point and checking over Tony. He seems much better but he wouldn't tell me otherwise."

"Of Course." Patsy agreed as she composed herself.

"Oh and bring Delia, we can have a proper catch up." Shirley smiled, her elbows on the windowsill.

"Right." Patsy said as she closed the door. Was she destined not to be able to come or go from her own flat without being accosted by this woman.

"What was that?" Delia asked behind the closed door.

"The young man that lives there injured himself yesterday, nothing serious, but he refused to see a Doctor and Shirley insisted I check him out. She wants me to go back and check on him later and she invited you along." Patsy informed, hooking her coat up.

Delia nodded. "Sure, but let's have five minutes before we go over."

"I've been meaning to ask you about them, but with your Mother's visit we've been a little preoccupied." Patsy ventured.

"Ask me what?" Delia checked hanging her own coat beside Patsy's.

"Well, what do you think of them? You've obviously spent a little time with them…"

"A little." Delia agreed. "I like them." Delia shrugged absentmindedly as she took Patsy's wrist and stopped her in the hallway, tugging Patsy back to face her.

"Well the young man certainly seems to have taken a shine to you..." Patsy pointed out a little resentfully as she allowed Delia to push her lightly against the wall.

Delia smirked. "You're jealous?!"

"You don't have to appear so clearly thrilled by the idea." Patsy sulked as Delia put a hand inside her cardigan and traced her hand along the curve of Patsy's waist and down over her hip.

"Sorry." Delia beamed, touching her lips to Patsy's. They hadn't kissed outside of their bedroom for the last four days and Patsy felt Delia's smile against her lips.

Patsy shook her head in amusement, for every ounce that Patsy was often hard to read, Delia wore her heart on her sleeve and she could barely contain her pleasure at Patsy's admission.

"I'm just not sure what I think of them, there seems something off…" Patsy tried to get back to her point..ignoring the lingering fingers of her girlfriend.

Delia rolled her eyes a little but took Patsy's hands each in her own, threading their fingers and making palms meet in their own kiss before tugging Patsy from the wall and nudging her towards the living room.

"I mean, where did they come from? They seem awfully secretive whilst wanting to know all of our business." Patsy went on as Delia walked her backwards toward the couch.

"Shirls just lonely, she wants to make a couple of friends, what's the harm in that?" She remarked as Patsy's legs bumped against the seat and she let herself sink down to it, taking Delia with her and pulling her into her lap.

"It isn't so much her as the young man she lives with. I see she wears a wedding ring but I've never once heard her call him her husband." Patsy said, her tone scandalised.

"What do we care if they're really married Pats? It's not really any concern of ours, is it?" Delia reasoned simply.

"No. I suppose not." Patsy was more inclined to agree with Delia when they were touching like this, Delia's arms had wound around her neck."He seems very cagey…"

"People used to say the same about you Pats, don't you remember?" Delia moved her fingers to the nape of Patsy's neck and pushed into the tightly styled up do, her fingers massaging the scalp.

"I do." Patsy agreed, arching her head back a little into Delia's touch.

"And I never listened to a one of them. I am a very good judge of character." Delia said proudly.

"I think your motivations for overlooking my many shortcomings may have stemmed from somewhat more basic instincts." Patsy teased.

"Are you saying I let you get away with the frosty attitude because I fancied the slacks off you?" Delia asked sweetly.

Patsy shrugged simply. "It may have been a factor."

Delia narrowed her eyes but couldn't hide her guilty grin. She chuckled and dug her fingers quickly into what she knew was Patsy's most ticklish point, just above her hip.

"Deels!" Patsy squealed, capturing the offending hand. "Trust you to stoop to such tactics when I had obviously won the argument."

Delia played her trump card and rocked forward in Patsy's lap, until their lips met softly and she pulled away slowly.

"Oh, I meant to say, I spoke to Trixie this morning." Delia went on casually, as if she wasn't at all aware of the effect she had on the woman beneath her.

"Oh yes?" Patsy enquired, truly focusing on slowing the racing of her heart.

"She was very sweet, trying to tell me how pleased she was for us without saying it outright." Delia grinned. "She wants to come up Gateways with us next time."

"What?! Why ever would she want to do that?" Patsy put, her heart racing for another reason now.

Delia shrugged. "I d'know, maybe she wants to show how she supports us, maybe she's just curious, I know I was when we first went…"

"I hardly think it an appropriate place for Trixie…" Patsy stated coldly.

Delia forced Patsy to look at her. "She was saying how hard it must be, not to have anywhere we can be truly open except here and only having one another to talk to about such an important part of ourselves. She was trying to tell me, she understands. She talks to her group, she's completely honest there. I told her, there was one place…" Delia explained. "So, she wants to see it."

"I don't think so Deels." Patsy shook her head firmly.

"Why not?" Delia asked directly, her hand on Patsy's cheek, maintaining their connection even as she knew Patsy wanted to break away.

"I don't want her there. I don't want her to see us there. I just don't." Patsy argued. "And I don't think she'd be welcome, do you?"

"Are you joking? They'd love a bit of Trixie at Gateways, she'd probably break a few hearts." Delia joked and Patsy frowned at her. "Patsy, she'd be fine with us. Don't you remember the girls that brought that chap in last time?"

"Yes, but he was more of a woman than the ladies he came in with." Patsy pointed out moodily.

Delia raised a brow in surprise. "Perhaps we should talk about this later." She sighed wearily. "It will be a while before the three of us can work out a night where none of us are on shift or on call anyway." Delia moved to get up from Patsy and Patsy stopped her, her hands on Delia's waist.

"I'm sorry. I just wouldn't feel comfortable. I'm still getting used to the place myself. I wouldn't want Trixie to see us there and think that we were...like them. Some of them, you have to admit Delia, some of them are… well let's just say that they embrace the term Queer wholeheartedly." Patsy explained.

Delia shook her head in dismay. "I admire those women." Delia confessed quietly. "The ones who behave the way they do in the club all the time, the ones who dress as they please, talk as they please. The ones who are themselves no matter what it costs them."

Patsy was quiet, she knew that on principle she should agree with Delia however she just couldn't bring herself to.

"I wouldn't be ashamed to be judged as one of them." Delia kissed Patsy's cheek and got up off the couch.

There was no accusation in her tone, she wouldn't push Patsy, it was enough for her that Patsy accompanied her to the club at all and that she would often even allow herself to enjoy the time they shared there. Still Patsy watched her move away, feeling her leaving as a punishment, until Delia looked over her shoulder and called to Patsy.

"Let's go and get this house call out of the way and then we can get an early night."

XXx

Shirley must have spotted Patsy and Delia, the moment they left the flat and she was at her door opening it and inviting them in even before they had completed the handful of steps between buildings.

"Come in, Come in!" She beckoned. "Thank you so much for coming over. Tony's in the bedroom. I managed to get him to rest today and the foot looks much better, I think."

"Hi Shirl, Pats told me he dropped something on it and he won't go to the Doctor?" Delia asked.

"Oh he hates Doctors." Shirley explained.

"He doesn't seem overly fond of Nurses either." Patsy pointed out lightly.

"Well, anyone poking about with him really." Shirley admitted a little sheepishly. "I am sorry he was rude to you Patsy, he's frustrated with himself is all, he won't be able to work for a little while and we're trying so hard to put some savings together."

"It's quite alright Shirley, I've cracked tougher nuts than him in my day." Patsy assured.

"That's true." Delia chimed in. "Pats used to work on Male surgical with me at the London, we saw a fair share of sharp tongues. Men can be so proud, they don't like to feel at the mercy of a woman." Delia revealed.

"Let's have a look at him then." Patsy directed and Shirley took her cue and moved to the door, knocking first and pushing it open.

Patsy had expected to find Tony in the bed, her experience of most male patients was that they were much more inclined to take to their beds and be waited on by their already overworked wives rather than power through. Instead Tony was stood before the long mirror in the corner of the room combing his slick hair back, fully dressed and with his well worn leather jacket on.

Through the mirror the young man spotted the new arrivals and smiled a lopsided smile. Patsy noticed that he was leaning most of his weight on his good leg, but other than that no one would guess there was anything the matter with him.

"Nurse Mount." He welcomed the nurse inside as he turned to the women, limping awkwardly around the corner of the bed and finally seating himself at the foot. "Here to check up on me I suppose?"

"You look to be feeling much better." Patsy replied, a cock of her brow.

Tony spread his hands out in "see for yourself" fashion.

"Will you let me take a look at the foot?" Patsy directed at him.

Shirley was already kneeling and pulling off Tony's unfastened boot. Patsy did not miss the cringe and sharp intake of breath as she did so.

"And Delia, what a pleasure, though I'm sure I don't need two nurses for a banged up foot, not that I'm complaining of course." He winked at Delia.

"Hi Tony, what on earth have you been up to this time? Giving Shirl trouble as usual I see." Delia said from just inside the door.

"Trouble seems to have a way of finding me." Tony allowed with a shrug.

Patsy took Shirley's place on the floor and inspected Tony's foot. The swelling had come down considerably and now the skin was mottled with a myriad of purples and greens. Patsy took the foot between her hands and slowly pressed and moved the limb in different directions and angels. Tony made a good attempt at masking any pain, though his banter had quickly vanished and Patsy noticed his fingers grasping in varying degrees at the bed covers as she tested, she took her measurements from this reaction.

"You should continue to rest this." She recommended finally. "I can bandage it to give you some extra support."

Delia opened the bag she had held quietly until now and walked over to Patsy, taking out a roll of bandage and handing it helpfully to the redhead, who flashed her a grateful smile.

"Not in your uniforms today ladies? Shame." Tony remarked, probably in an attempt to distract himself as Patsy set about her task.

"Off duty." Patsy replied shortly.

"Just offering assistance to a neighbour." Delia elaborated, perhaps to compensate for Patsy's brisk manner.

"Well, I reckon when you're done you can let me buy you girls a drink over at The Masters Arms." Tony offered. "Don't look at me like that Nurse, I've been cooped up in here all day and I'm going half mad and I haven't got a drop of whiskey to offer you in here, I drank the last of it last night."

"For the pain." Shirley explained.

Patsy was about to decline the offer, having the promise of a quiet night with her girlfriend and no Mother-in-law, firmly in mind when she heard Delia's voice.

"Just the one Pats." The Welsh lilt pleaded.

Patsy cast an eye over Delia as she continued to firmly bind the ankle. "I'm not sure Tony should be out on this foot, elevation and rest are what's needed. Perhaps just us ladies should go for a drink?" Patsy smirked in Shirley's direction, who quickly picked up the teasing note and nodded eagerly.

"I'm sure you'd be okay on your own for an hour Tony and I can bring you back a dram." Shirley agreed happily. "We _should_ thank the girls." She reminded.

Tony was almost up off the bed, despite Patsy having a grip of his leg and tipping him back further as she lifted it.

"But, it's only a few yards away, I could hop there from here, or one of you kind ladies could offer me a shoulder…" He protested.

Delia giggled at the stricken look on the young man's face and the other two women broke, joining her laughter with their own.

Tony frowned and grumbled. "Well I wouldn't put it past you lot."

"Outnumbered!" Shirley chuckled as she held a hand out to Tony and gave him chance to heave himself off the bed and lean on her a little.

Xxx

The pub was busy, as it was every night, full of people and every sound being made all at once, a cry, a shout, laughter and even music. It was not the kind of establishment that Patsy entered often and certainly not one she would choose to spend a full evening in however she did enjoy sitting back and observing for a short time the colourful illustrations of life splashed from table to table.

Delia had gone to the bar with Tony, the two of them seemed to get on like a house on fire, as the expression went, seeming to challenge each other with their playful teasing and one drink had turned into two, with Tony's promise that if the nurses stayed for another he would be happy to escort them all home and rest his leg for the entire night and most of the following day. Patsy watched them talking at the bar, standing closely together and she wondered how many people in the bar glanced at them and mistook them for a couple, the thought made her face burn and she imagined striding up to the bar and placing a possessive arm around Delia. She checked herself and drained the last of her drink.

Seeing this couple through Delia's eyes she supposed she could see why the nurse thought them fun. They were young, seemingly carefree and obviously very much in love. Was it really just jealousy that made her suspicious of the pair?

"Don't worry about them." Shirley assured as Patsy stared at Delia and Tony at the bar. "He's like that with all the ladies, can't help himself, he doesn't mean anything by it."

Patsy tore her eyes away, a little flustered at being caught out so, just proving how quickly she had relaxed in these strangers company. "I, no, I mean, I know the sort... and I can clearly see how much he cares for you." Patsy added. "Shouldn't you be the one upset?" Patsy dared to ask, trying to turn the question back on her acquaintance.

Shirley grinned and almost chuckled to herself. "I know Tony like nobody else." Was all she said.

"Did you grow up together?" Patsy asked now, mildly interested.

Shirley shook her head. "No, Tony came to my village when we were 14 years old. Tony's father was a vet and the village had need of a new one. Tony's mother had died a few years before and he got into trouble at home, his Pa wanted a new start. He didn't settle well from the beginning. In my village everybody knows everybody, newcomers take some getting used to, but we got along right away." Shirley reminisced, smiling as she finished, her eyes on Tony's back.

"You miss it?" Patsy asked, happy to let the girl talk on.

"Sometimes, but Tony and I couldn't be together there, so here we are." Shirley shrugged.

"You gave up your family and your home?" Patsy asked with interest, finally focusing on the woman across from her rather than the one at the bar, she didn't ask why they couldn't be together.

"Wouldn't you, for love?" Shirley put to her simply yet with a fierce intensity in her eyes that surprised the midwife.

Patsy looked away and reddened slightly. "I suppose. I haven't had a family or a home for a long time so it's difficult to say."

"Until you met Delia?" Shirley reminded. Patsy stared a little until Shirley went on. "And got the flat…?"

"That's right." Patsy agreed with a long exhale.

"But you would, you'd give everything up for the right person." Shirley told Patsy certainly, just as Tony and Delia returned to the table, drinks in hand.

Xxx

As they helped Shirley bundle Tony into the house and said goodbye Patsy began to feel the effects of three whiskeys, they had done the job and caused her to look more favourably on her neighbours, even on Tony's flirtatious tone with Delia, well, not completely. She had given him a look, more than once tonight, that was supposed to communicate that she didn't trust him one bit, particularly when it came to Delia, but he had seemed almost amused by it.

Delia took her arm as they let themselves into their own little flat.

"Did you have a good time afterall?" Delia asked in her bubbly way, made even giddier by the drinks and the freshness of the night air.

"I like Shirley, she does seem a little lonely and I think she could use a couple of friends." Patsy decided.

"And Tony?" Delia prompted, kicking off her small heels, one hand against the wall.

"Verdicts still out on him I'm afraid." Patsy half joked. "But I can tell you like him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Delia asked leaning a little against the wall to steady herself.

"Just that I've never seen you so comfortable with a man before." Patsy remarked.

Delia shrugged. "I had a lot of male friends back in Pembrokeshire, used to drive Mam mad, she thought I'd get a name for myself. Since I came to London, the nurses home, you just find yourself thrust into a world of women don't you?"

"I suppose. I didn't realise that that was such a bad thing?" Patsy posed, sounding a little wounded.

Delia caught the sound and tugged on Patsy's arm before stumbling into her. "I didn't say it was a bad thing." She pushed her weight onto her toes as Patsy now towered slightly above her and moved her face so that her left cheek brushed Patsy's right and she buried her face into Patsy's hair, which the redhead had worn down for the evening, knowing well that Delia loved it that way. Delia inhaled and moved her hand to Patsy's waist as they moved into the bedroom.

"I don't want to talk about Tony anymore." Delia decided, standing behind Patsy at the dressing table as the taller woman removed her earrings. "Now that Mams gone, we can focus on our holiday! I'd like to continue my french lessons, if you please." Delia mumbled, hands smoothly moving around Patsy's waist and her lips closing over the lobe of Patsy's now bare ear lobe and causing Patsy to squirm slightly against her.

"Hmmm, what exactly do you remember from our last lesson?" Patsy asked Delia's image in the mirror.

"I've been practicing." Delia told her. "Je m'appelle Delia." She said to illustrate and held her hand out to be taken.

"Enchante." Patsy turned on the spot, took Delia's hand and kissed the knuckles.

"Je voudrais un thé au lait, s'il vous plait." Delia commanded in a very Welsh version of the French language.

"Bien sur Mademoiselle, avec beaucoup de lait!" Patsy assured in a very natural sounding accent.

A frown creased Delia's forehead for a moment and Patsy beamed.

"A milky brew!" She translated very loosely. "What else do you remember?"

Delia seemed to wrack her brain, chewing slightly on the inside of her mouth before she came up with something.

"Aha!" She exclaimed triumphantly. "Je vis d'amour et d'eau douce!" Delia pronounced dramatically.

"You remember that?!" Patsy asked incredulous and chuckling at her love. Patsy took hold of Delia's blouse and helpfully took about unfastening the buttons as Delia nodded proudly.

"I also remember this…" Delia said as she moved her hold on Patsy, her arms winding around the back of her neck and Delia again on her toes as she dropped kisses along the jawline and up to the ear of her girlfriend where she whispered. "Je t'aime. Je t'adore. J'ai besoin de to..."

Patsy was well aware that Delia felt the shiver that ran through her yet she made a last ditch attempt to remain focused as she continued with her task of undressing the shorter woman, pulling Delia's blouse from her skirt and back over her shoulders where Patsy dipped and kissed the flesh. "Tres bien mon cherie, however, I'm not sure how useful such phrases will be when trying to... order yourself a sandwich, for example. And these french lessons always seem to end the same way."

Delia shrugged. "Well, they do call it French kissing!"

Xxx


	7. Chapter 7

Hush Hush 7

Patsy was exhausted, she had been all day and night with a terrified first time mother and had finally had to be relieved by Sister Mary Cynthia. She hated to leave without seeing the baby born, yet it could be hours, the girl was only a little dilated and that had taken all this time. She hurried into Nonnatus ready to down tools and be on her way but was stopped in her tracks by the sight of a small circle of uniformed ladies blocking her way into the prep room.

"Golly, I spy reinforcements by the bucketload!" Patsy let out as her eyes immediately locked with Delia's as the familiar form turned to face her.

"Ahh Nurse Mount! Impeccable timing as per!" Nurse Crane announced. "As you can see we have here a number of trainee midwives from the London. They will be with us for two weeks. Today I will be showing them around and they will be in the clinic, however I hope by the end of the fortnight they will have done a stint with each of us and all attended a home birth if mother nature allows."

"That shouldn't be a problem Nurse Crane, we have a number of full term mothers, it looks set to be a busy few weeks." Patsy smiled at the five young women stood shoulder to shoulder in a small horse shoe formation, they looked almost as innocent as the babies they would see delivered. Excepting Delia of course, however right now she was avoiding making eye contact with Patsy and clearly was not intending to acknowledge her in any way that the others would notice. Patsy completely understood professionalism and told herself sternly not to be disheartened by it.

"I look forward to working with you all, but right now I am going to clear up my things and head home. I have had a very long night." Patsy shared with them all.

"There are many of those in district midwifery." Nurse Crane took the chance to point out with a nod. "We don't quite have the strict shift patterns you will find at the hospital, if we are with a patient we tend to stay with them through to the birth of baby, no matter how long it takes, unless of course we risk our own health by staying put, these occasions are few and far between, but as Nurse Mount has just discovered, they do happen and then one does have to admit defeat, for the patient's sake as much as for our own." Nurse Crane assured.

Patsy caught Delia shift, directing a concerned gaze at her now, studying her face carefully and Patsy made an effort to smile and brighten her eyes.

"Leave your kit Nurse Mount and get off home, it will give me chance to demonstrate the correct handling of used equipment." Phyllis instructed kindly before turning and gesturing for the gaggle of girls to follow her to the on call board.

Delia hung back slightly and hastily took a step in Patsy's direction. "Are you alright?"

"Deels, you didn't tell me you'd be training at Nonnatus!?" Patsy posed as she stepped closer too.

"It's just one of a number of places on the list I wasn't sure until yesterday where I would be and I didn't see you last night." Delia explained, one eye on her fellow trainees.

"No. As I said I was at a long labour." Patsy said, then more quietly. "I missed you."She admitted in a whisper.

Patsy received the first weak smile of the day from Delia and wondered what was troubling her, she certainly wasn't herself. "Is everything alright with you Deels?" Patsy asked.

Delia nodded and smiled a little more convincingly. "I just. I thought it might be awkward for you, me being here again, under your feet."

"Don't be ridiculous, we got over all that a long time ago." Patsy assured with a dazzling smile, she was actually looking forward to having Delia at Nonnatus again for a brief time, it would add a frisson of excitement to her day knowing she may get to snatch a moment with her Welsh beauty at work, it always had, even despite the fear of discovery.

"Still, it might be better if we kept it strictly business in front of the other girls." Delia looked over to where the group of trainees were listening closely to Phyllis.

"Of course." Patsy agreed. "You don't want them to know we're... friends?" Patsy checked.

"Not that! Well not exactly... just not too many details. I told you, it's not how it was when we were training, these girls are younger than I am and I think they see me as an outsider, they're not friends of mine... and I don't want to make things any worse." Delia struggled to explain.

Patsy frowned now and cast fresh eyes over the group of young women. It had crossed her mind that Delia hadn't particularly mentioned any of the girls she was training with, hadn't socialised with them at all but Delia already had a group of friends from the London and she spent time with them when she could. Still, it wasn't like Delia not to make friends with everyone and Patsy was a little alarmed at the thought of Delia viewing herself as the outsider, she knew from experience that that was not a good place to be.

"Yes. Whatever you want." Patsy smiled reassuringly and took a step away from Delia. "You better get back to them." She urged.

Delia needed no further encouragement and hurried back to the group with only a small flash of a grateful smile in Patsy's direction.

Patsy watched for a moment as Delia quietly rejoined the group and was noticed by one of the women who whispered something to the girl beside her, both girls looking slyly at Delia. Patsy made a mental note of which girls they were and turned to leave, her bed was calling her, she would consider this new development again after a few hours sleep.

Xxx

As Patsy woke she distinctly thought she heard the sound of Delia's sultry laugh, perhaps the remnants of a dream. Though Patsy had for many years had such a disrupted sleep pattern she could never get used to a long sleep in the day and she felt at once exhausted and restless. She moved to the bathroom to wake herself before a Nescafe could work it's own magic.

Feeling fresher Patsy put her hair together and dressed in a new pair of slacks and crisp clean shirt. No one would guess that she had spent her night up to her ears in blood, sweat and tears.

Patsy glanced at the clock, clinic would be almost over and she had the urge to walk down to meet Delia, which she fought, in light of Delia's words earlier today, she feared she would not be doing her love any favours by turning up to escort her _friend_ home. Instead Patsy would see what she could cobble together in the kitchen ready for Delia's return.

There it was again. This time it was undoubtedly real, the sweet sound of Delia's laughter. Patsy turned, half expecting to see Delia standing behind her but knowing that the sound had come from further away than this room, or indeed the flat. Patsy moved without thinking to the front door and threw it open to find the source of the jubilant noise and as she did so she heard it miggle with a deeper chuckle.

The subject of her search was located, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Tony the neighbour. Delia had just exhaled a cloud of smoke from the half smoked cigarette she held between two fingers and had her neck craned slightly back so it took her a moment to register Patsy's presence.

"Delia Busby? Are my eyes deceiving me? I could swear I just caught sight of you smoking like a chimney on the front door step and sipping at a pint of Best Bitter to boot?!" Patsy exclaimed as she crossed her arms at her front and raised her brow in disapproval.. "If your mother could see you now, she certainly _would_ pack you up and drag you back to Wales."

Guilt and perhaps a little shame turned Delia a reddish colour even as she held her lit cigarette aloft in defiance. Delia passed the pint glass back to Tony before she stood and matched as much of Patsy's height and challenging glare, as she could.

"Phyllis sent me home early, she's asked me to accompany Trixie, she's first on call this evening. I didn't want to come in and disturb you, you looked done in this morning." Delia finished more softly.

"I did sleep late, but you don't have to hang around out here, I never mind you waking me…" Patsy glanced at Tony who wasn't even pretending not to be listening to them. "Not when it gets to this time." Patsy added. She didn't say that she'd been doing nothing but waiting for Delia since she'd woken up.

"I know. I'm sorry. I got distracted. Shirley was here when I got home, she was trying to keep this one here and I promised to babysit." Delia explained.

"Ey, less of the baby thank you!" Tony chipped in from the sidelines.

Patsy deftly took the cigarette that was quickly burning down, from between Delia's fingers and popped the filter between her lips, inhaling sharply, her chest filling and rising as Delia watched. Patsy then tossed the end to the ground and crushed it hard beneath the toe of her shoe, before sweeping it along with her foot to a small pile that seemed to be mounting up beside the step that Tony still occupied.

"Come on Deels, I'm going to treat you to a fish supper and if you stay here and behave Tony I may even bring you back some chips." Patsy flashed him a smile as she took Delia's arm and looped it through her own whilst setting them out in the direction of the docks.

Delia allowed herself to be swept away without a backward glance at her new friend and hurried to keep up with the brisk pace set by Patsy, who finally slowed a little, and relaxed her hold, as they moved out of Tony's view.

"Sorry I didn't wake you Pat's" Delia tried again now.

"Do you like him? I mean, hypothetically, if there was no Shirley and no... _us_." Patsy lowered her voice on the word more out of habit than necessity. " Would you? Are you attracted to him? Could you be? To a man do you think?" Patsy stumbled over words and thoughts yet gracefully managed the cobbles in her kitten heels.

"Pats!" Delia was clearly surprised at the line of questioning.

"Seriously Delia, you can tell me. There are women who have feelings for both men and women. You've heard about them at the club, they have a chap at home and a girlfriend for the weekends, they go from one to the other and back again." Patsy rambled on.

"I'm not sure it's that straightforward sweetheart, or that complicated." Delia shrugged simply. "All I can tell you is that I only want you. I can't imagine wanting anyone else, man or woman."

Patsy was flattered by the sentiment of course but couldn't help wonder if Delia was deliberately being evasive.

The pair were safely ensconced in the busy crowd now and could speak freely.

"I know _I_ could never be with a man." Patsy stated certainly. "It never felt right to me and I don't believe it ever would. But if a girl could choose, surely she would choose a man? Things would be so much easier."

"You don't choose who you love Pat's, you know that." Delia frowned at the suggestion and shook the idea away quickly. "Well anyway, Tony and I are just friends, men and women can be friends Pat's, it's the 60's."

Patsy fell quiet for a moment, Delia watching the judgements and then the following reasoning take turns across her face as they walked on, past men returning home from work and children trying to beat them home for dinner.

"Alright." Patsy agreed finally, perhaps it was better if she never really had the answer to certain questions. "I suppose I shall have to bear it, though I do fear he may be a bad influence on you if earlier on is anything to go by, I never saw you smoke before Delia." Patsy teased gently.

"I never have before." Delia admitted.

"Then why now? Why with him?" Patsy asked. "You always say how you want me to stop."

"After what Dr Turner told us can you blame me?" Delia shot. "I suppose I just wanted to see what the fuss was about. I couldn't do that with you and then continue to try and make you quit."Delia shrugged.

"I suppose not." Patsy sighed.

"It doesn't _really_ bother you?" Delia checked in on Patsy's profile. "About Tony and I?"

"It shouldn't. It's not as if he is free to ask you out or…" Patsy began.

"You mean like Kevin?" Delia interrupted.

Patsy flinched at the name, a reaction which under any one else's scrutiny may have gone unnoticed but not by Delia. How did Delia know that Patsy had been thinking of him? Of Delia and him.

"This is not like that Pat's. You know that don't you?" Deli asked softly.

Patsy shrugged looking down the street rather than at Delia, then why bring him up? was her first thought.

"I went out with him because you wanted me to, remember? You were worried about what people would think, would say, if we went to another nurses dance together." Delia reminded.

"I do remember that Delia, vividly in fact!" Patsy interjected impatiently. "I also recall his hands all over you for the entire evening, I don't recall that part of my cunning plan."

Delia sighed and stopped in her tracks, waiting for Patsy to realise and turn back before she spoke. "I had to make you see how ridiculous it was, you forcing me to go out with someone else."

"Well it worked, I haven't suggested it since." Patsy conceded.

The truth, which Delia didn't press now, was that Patsy had spent the whole evening scowling at Deli and her date, had followed them home and almost thrown Kevin down the steps of the nurses home when he had attempted to kiss Delia goodnight, if possible raising even more suspicion about the relationship between the two young women than ever before.

"Anyway, this is not the same, we really are just friends and Kevin and I were never even that." Delia assured. "You don't have anything to be jealous about. You never have."

Patsy nodded. "So you're saying I don't have to throw him into the street?" Patsy smirked finally.

Delia grinned. "You don't have to defend my honour." Was how she chose to put it.

Delia gave Patsy the look, a look that told the redhead that if they had been in the right place at this moment, at the flat or anywhere a little more private, there would be contact and rather a lot of it. Patsy had to look ahead again in order not to blush.

Patsy took a deep breath and continued to walk. "Speaking of friends Deels, I wanted to ask you more about what you said this morning? About the other girls you're training with." Patsy ventured, a change in subject seemed due.

"There isn't much else to say. You saw them, there all fresh out of training school and they look at me like some kind of relic know it all. It doesn't help that Matron keeps pointing out my years of experience, but then she isn't happy with me either." Delia held a sigh behind the heavier words.

"Whyever not?" Patsy asked, quite put out by the notion.

"When I requested the training she offered me another position at the London, said she didn't want to lose me, said she could make me a sister if I stuck it out a few more months on male surgical, she thought I'd snatch her hand off but I turned her down." Delia explained.

"Delia, why didn't you tell me?" Patsy asked. "Not that I'm at all surprised, Matron knows how wonderful you are at whatever you put your mind to, of course she'd want to hang on to you."

"I suppose I didn't want to think about it once I'd made up my mind…" Delia tried to explain. "I thought perhaps you'd think me foolish."

Patsy's step faltered, causing a man behind her to bump her roughly with his shoulder as he continued to pass her and tutted loud enough for her to hear, if she had been at all interested.

"I've never thought that of you Delia, why would you think such a thing?" Patsy asked.

"Maybe, you'd think I was chasing this midwife thing, for the wrong reasons, to be closer to you or… I don't know..." Delia trailed off feeling silly on hearing her doubts formed aloud.

"I don't think anyone could suggest that you are not fully committed to anything you set your sights on, I have always admired that about you. And I think that bringing life into the world, particularly to be entrusted into someone's home at their most vulnerable time is a real privilege, no matter how it is viewed by the London. Of course I can understand your wish to pursue it." Patsy told her partner emphatically.

Delia's small smile was never the less dazzling as she eyed Patsy adoringly. "Thank you." She said simply.

The pair walked on in silence and eventually joined the queue at the chip shop, there was always a queue here at this time and they waited patiently for their turn, receiving nods and greetings from many of the patrons, those that they had met and treated and others who recognised them yet had not encountered them personally as yet. The Nonnantuns received respect wherever they went and that had extended to Delia through association, that and her role helping Patsy with the cubs.

On their way back to the flat the sight of a phonebox jogged Delia's memory and she stopped abruptly.

"Oh Pats! I'm going to stop and ring Mam, you go on, I'll be right behind you." Delia assured as she searched her purse for change.

Patsy took some coins from the neat little pocket of her slacks and handed it to Delia, her fingers brushing over Delia's as she did so in an undetectable caress.

"Send her my best." Pats called as Delia turned and headed for the bright red box.

Xxx

Minutes later when Delia returned to the flat she found Patsy sat with her food in her lap.

"No plates?" Delia questioned.

"You always say it tastes better in the paper!" Patsy argued.

Delia laughed. "It does." She remarked as she began to unwrap her own parcel.

"Everyone alright at home?" Patsy asked.

"Yes, they're all the same as ever. Mam asked after you." Delia informed.

"Well, it's certainly a step forward from trying to deny my existence. I'll take it!" Patsy quipped as she stole a chip from Delia's freshly opened portion and offered her love a saucy wink.

"Hey! Patience Mount, you would think spending half your time with a load of nuns some of their knowledge would rub off. Stealing is a sin and one of the ten big ones!" Delia accused playfully.

"What's yours is mine sweetheart! Especially seeing that I paid for them!" Patsy teased.

Delia frowned now and put a protective arm around her chips as she swatted Patsy's returning hand away with her other hand.

"You have your own!" Delia burst in mock outrage.

"Yes, but as always what you have looks infinitely more inviting." Patsy smirked and tipped a crooked brow, managing to pluck another chip between two fingers and pop it quickly into her mouth.

Delia watched, her deep frown lifting as Patsy popped each finger into her mouth and gently sucked at the layer of grease there. Delia was now watching Patsy all too closely, her jaw slack and her guard down.

Patsy seeing her advantage pushed her lips firmly against Delia's and rummaged around for a third chip, the rustling of the paper on Delia's knees alerting her to the ruse even as she savoured the lingering kiss.

A creak in a floorboard and the clearing of a throat suddenly announced another presence in the room.

Patsy's head darted in the direction of the sound and she took in the sight of their neighbour standing in the doorway, looking guilty and uncomfortable.

"Sorry." She offered immediately. "The door was open. I wanted to return Delia's book."

"I'm certain you could still have managed to knock!" Patsy spat, already standing and moving away from Delia.

"I called, I don't think you heard…" Shirley explained weakly.

Patsy had her back to the room now as she dropped the remanence of her supper into the kitchen bin and began to run the tap. "One shouldn't have to lock your own front door to get a little privacy!" Patsy said coldly.

Shirley stepped into the room gingerly and placed the book she held on the very corner of the dining room table before backing quickly out. "I am sorry. I'll leave you to it." She added as she nodded fleetingly at a silent Delia and turned to leave.

Xxx

A/N- Sorry this took so long, I lost my way a bit in the middle of this chapter but decided I need to just publish and move on otherwise I'm going to end up with a block for the rest of the story. If I had an editor they would probably just cut a lot out of this. I shall try and be more concise in the remaining chaps. Thanks for reading anyway and for reviews. xx


	8. Chapter 8

A/N- Sorry for the delay folks, I have been a little distracted but I hope to get back into this story now that summer is here and work has calmed a little. Thank you for any feedback.

Hush Hush 8

"I told you Pats, I'll speak to her." Delia repeated firmly.

"When? She could have gone blabbing to anybody by now." Patsy blustered.

"I doubt that." Delia remarked. "She's a friend and I just get the feeling that she wouldn't be too bothered or surprised by what she saw." Delia shrugged nonchalantly.

"Are you kidding?" Patsy shot. "She certainly ran out of here as fast as her legs could carry her."

"Perhaps that had something to do with the way you spoke to her." Delia suggested calmly.

"Oh, I'm sorry Deels, was I impolite to the virtual stranger who seems to be spying on us?" Patsy asked incredulously.

"Patsy.."

"No Delia, you're right, where were my manners, I shall jolly well just go over there now and apologise…" Patsy bit sarcastically, actually making a move toward the door.

"Patience, I said I will speak to her and I will, please leave it to me." Delia said wearily.

Patsy paused mid march. "You don't trust me to speak to her?"

"Not with how obviously upset you are, no." Delia shook her head once.

"Fine! Fine, I'll leave it to you. Just let me know when you've discovered whether or not our lives are about to be torn apart, if I'm not about you could perhaps leave me a note!"

"Pat's be reasonable. If I go chasing her over there and she isn't sure what she's seen, how is it going to look?" Delia reasoned. "And who is she going to tell? Tony? Well if I go over there now he's certainly going to want to know what's going on. It's better if I speak to her alone and see if she even raises it herself."

"In the meantime? I'm supposed to do what? just wait for the chop?" Patsy put to her partner, folding her arms across her chest stubbornly.

"In the meantime you need to calm down! Stop panicking and go about your business as usual." Delia instructed in a soothing voice from her seat.

"That's easier said than done!" Patsy replied as she sank beside Delia seeming finally to surrender to her words.

Delia reached out for her love, her hands over Patsy's shoulders, squeezing and releasing the tension there, before her hands moved lower, continuing down the length of Patsy's back, knowing that tonight she would not be able to help her lover unwind.

Xxx

"Good morning ladies!" Trixie announced.

"Afternoon I think you'll find Nurse Franklin." Patsy teased from her seat by the telephone, tea cup in hand.

Trixie removed her hat. "One does quite often lose track Nurse Mount." Trixie quipped in reply as Delia appeared behind her.

"Everything go well with Mrs Humphries?" Patsy enquired leaning forward in her chair, hands on her knees, she examined Delia's face and found with relief the answer to her question.

"Almost entirely uncomplicated." Trixie replied. "You can be suitably proud of your sweetheart." Trixie teased. "She didn't bat an eyelid when Mrs Humphries began cursing her husband with every profanity I've ever heard before and one or two more."

"The gas and air does tend to loosen the lips." Delia shrugged. "It wouldn't be the kind of language Matron would allow at any rate." Delia admitted with a sly smile.

"I'm glad you survived your first home birth, what did she have?" Patsy asked, unable to keep a hand from reaching for the feel of Delia's crisp uniform, brushing at an imaginary crease as the nurse moved towards her.

"Girl. Helena, such a sweet little thing Pats, she hardly made a sound." Delia enthused.

Patsy beamed up at her girlfriend and Trixie disappeared into the kitchen calling behind her. "Bournvita to celebrate ladies?"

"Please!" The pair called in unison, Delia laid a hand upon Patsy's shoulder as she gazed down at her.

Trixie sat for a few minutes as she and Delia recounted the details of the delivery to Patsy, before bidding the couple goodnight and retiring to her room.

"You should go too." Patsy warned. " I'm sure you realise already that Nurse Crane can be quite the taskmaster."

Delia took Patsy's fingers in her own, pressing the tips together and then folding her fingers into a hold.

"I don't think I'll sleep at all tonight, I feel so awake, it was so amazing, everything I thought it would be and Trixie! She was so fabulous, she managed to bring a life into the world pretty much singlehandedly without breaking a sweat and with not a hair out of place." Delia gushed.

Patsy grinned indulgently and allowed herself to lean a little into Delia and drop a kiss to her forehead, where she had pulled up a chair conveniently close to Patsy.

"You could stay all night if it was up to me however, I have a young..." Patsy glanced at her notes. " Miss Derby to drag out of bed and put on standby for the next call as per Nurse Crane's instruction."

Delia's face fell and Patsy felt it was not the thought of leaving her alone that had caused the sudden change in demeanour.

"Deels?" Patsy asked gently, still holding onto Delia's hand. "Anything you want to tell me about Miss Derby?"

Delia shook her bowed head, her fringe dancing over her eyelids, causing them to flutter. "No, it's nothing. I'm sure she'll be very efficient."

Patsy felt Delia's tone was less than convincing but she didn't push."Which one was she?"

"The blonde." Delia replied flatly. "She's very well liked and some of the girls look up to her rather a lot."

"Well, Mrs Jacobs rang just before you arrived, she's felt a few twinges and thinks things may soon be getting started, she's going to call us when she needs us. It looks like I won't be home before breakfast."

"So Miss Derby will be working with you?" Delia checked, frowning a little at the idea.

"Yes. Unless it's a false alarm, but I can't see it being, this is Mrs Jacobs third baby, she has a good idea of how things go." Patsy reasoned. Delia remained quiet, slipping away from Patsy just a little despite being right beside her. "One more cup before you go?" Patsy proposed.

Delia nodded and got up from her seat suddenly, placing her hand on Patsy's shoulder, keeping her in her chair. "I'll get it." She told Patsy as she escaped.

Delia had listened quietly as Patsy made the phonecall to Miss Derby and now she finished her drink, finally looking as if the excitement of the day had caught up with her.

"You're tired now?" Patsy asked, tucking a stray hair behind Delia's ear and letting her hand briefly cup Delia's pale cheek, Delia nodded into it and allowed her heavy eyes a moment's relief.

"I'm surprised you haven't sent me away already and you haven't even mentioned what happened yesterday…" Delia broached the subject warily.

Patsy shrugged but a wave of anxiety did crash in her, old habits and all that.

"I know you wont have had chance to speak with Shirley yet and besides, I've calmed down a little." Patsy assured sensibly.

Delia looked surprised and a little doubtful but nodded all the same.

"I mean it. I know I've always been on my guard, I know I've been a dreadful bore about it in the past, but I don't think it really matters anymore, we have our friends, we even have the begrudging blessing of your mother, I'm not saying we don't have to be careful…"

Delia smirked and nodded again.

"I just don't think that anything could tear us apart now, so what's the worst that could happen?" Patsy concluded, slightly forcing her smile, her stiff shoulders betraying the tension she still so obviously felt. But she was trying, and Delia loved her for it.

"I guess you're stuck with me then." Delia teased, a sparkle in her blue eyes before they dimmed again and she rose to take her leave.

Xxx

"Miss Derby, how do you do? I'm Patience Mount." Patsy stuck out her hand and offered a warm smile, she was determined not to let Delia's obviously uncomfortable association colour her own interaction with the young woman. Not until she knew more at least.

"Nurse Mount." Miss Derby ducked her head and almost curtsied. "A pleasure. Have we heard any more from the expectant mother?" Straight to business, Patsy could appreciate that.

Patsy reached for her cape, twirling it over her shoulders and tied it at the neck as she replied. "I just spoke to her husband and he asks that we come now. It's just a short ride on the bicycle, you have ridden in the dark before I'm sure but as you are not familiar with this area, you should stay close to me and we'll take it slowly."

Miss Derby nodded and followed Patsy out to the bikes. "You can use Sister Mary Cynthia's." Patsy indicated the bike, she's around your height and she isn't on duty until tomorrow evening."

Patsy secured her bag, took charge of the bike and swung out onto the cobbled path, pausing to ensure her young charge was ready and with a nod they were on their way.

As they arrived at the block of flats, Patsy could see that despite it being barely first light a small crowd had gathered outside to keep look out for the midwives, three women in dressing gowns and slippers, mugs of tea in hand, Patsy recognised two of them whom she knew had small children themselves and were a similar age to Mrs Jacobs. Something she had always admired about the women of Poplar, the way they supported one another, not quite the way their Mothers or Grandmothers had in the tenements but still trying to retain that sense of community that they had witnessed themselves as children.

"Morning Nurse Mount!" One of the ladies called casually as Patsy dismounted and passed her bicycle to an anxious looking Mr Jacobs who suddenly appeared on the scene.

"Morning ladies." Patsy addressed the group. "How is she?"

"Doing well, don't think it'll be long now, you better get in there." Another of the neighbours chipped in.

"And who's this young Miss? None of the nuns with you? Mind you I suppose it's pretty straightforward with Jo, knows what she's doing now, not like my time with the last one, head the size of a rhino and he was out like a freight train passing through. I wasn't half wrecked after that I can tell you." The woman that spoke put a hand to her back and let her arm fall across her front protectively as if experiencing some physical memory.

"Ah, but young Frank was worth it all wasn't he Mrs Houghton?" Patsy posed.

Mrs Houghton seemed to consider the question with some great measure of thought and was still undecided as Patsy followed Mr Jacobs up the stairwell into the first floor flat.

As Patsy entered the bedroom of the young wife and mother she instinctively knew that something was wrong and sensed the fear in the room. The curtains were pulled tightly closed and there was no air in the room, no light except for a small dim lamp by the bedside.

Patsy nodded to the young nurse to open the curtains allowing the pale blue light of dawn to enter, not exactly lighting it up but at least counteracting the complete gloom.

Patsy herself moved directly to her patient, who was moaning and lifting herself from the bed at a strange angle, crawling back up the bed in crab like fashion as the contraction seemed to lessen .

"Mrs Jacobs? Jolene? It's Nurse Mount." Patsy called moving closer now.

The young face that took her in now was pale, the large eyes wide, almost looking through her.

"Something's wrong." The woman whispered, her lip quivered and her eyes suddenly filled.

"Why would you think that?" Patsy asked calmly, straightening the sheet that covered the bed at one side and firmly tucking the loosened corners

"It never felt like this last time, nor the time before, it just don't feel right!" Jolene's voice getting higher as she went on.

Patsy nodded once and placed a hand on Jolene's shoulder. "Alright. Let's get the next contraction out of the way and we can have a proper look at you. Okay?"

Jolene nodded and threw a glance to the younger girl who had moved to a clean surface and was opening out their equipment.

"This is Nurse Derby, she's a trainee midwife. She's come from the London and she's going to be a great help to us today." Patsy assured them both confidently and spoke directly to Miss Derby now as she asked for the stethoscope.

"I'm just going to have a little listen to baby." Patsy informed as she placed the instrument against Jolene's tummy. The room fell still, no one daring to move until Patsy straightened and smiled.

"Everything there sounds as we'd expect." The Nurse announced with authority.

Patsy instructed Nurse Derby to turn back the blankets as Mrs Jacobs began to whimper again, her legs jerking around on the bed as if she were a puppet on a string.

"No, It's just not right nurse." She wailed again, swiping her forearm across her sweating brow. "Please. You have to do something."

"Breathe Mrs Jacobs, nice deep breath, we're going to take a look and then we can work out exactly what's going on."

Patsy slipped on a pair of gloves and a few tense moments later was examining Jolene, as Miss Derby hovered nearby. Patsy crooked a finger at the young girl and silently invited her over to make her own observations.

"What is your summation Nurse Derby?" Patsy asked quietly.

"Mother is in the final stage of labor, baby's head is in the birth canal, good presentation, contractions less than two minutes apart, birth is imminent." Miss Derby reeled off emotionlessly.

"Indeed." Patsy sighed and slipped off a glove and covered Jolene's knee with her bare hand.

"Jolene, baby is ready to join us now. Everything looks absolutely fine and we are here to make sure you and baby have as easy a time as possible."

"No! I've changed my mind, I don't want it here, I want to go to the hospital!" Jolene announced in panic, her breath coming quickly, closing her legs and twisting a little away from Patsy.

"It's a little late for that now Jolene, but if at any point we have even the slightest concern for you or baby we won't hesitate to call out the Doctor or even an ambulance."

Miss Derby had passed to the fresh pile of towels neatly folded on a nearby chair and retrieved one to place underneath Jolene, but now she frowned sharply and seemed to toss her head a little as if she disapproved of Patsy's assurance. Jolene caught the look and wailed, punching a fist into the mattress.

"She thinks I'm creating! Thinks I don't know my own body… something isn't the same Nurse Mount!" The Mother moaned as she cried out in pain again.

Patsy smiled at the Mother and patted her hand with one of her own. "I'll just give an update to Mr Jacobs and put him on standby to call Doctor Turner if you feel you need him. I'll be back in a moment Jolene." Patsy promised with a steadying squeeze to the shoulder before she moved away from the bed.

"Can you join me for a moment Miss Derby?" Patsy asked quietly as she reached the door.

Once outside of the room Patsy rounded on Miss Derby. "The woman in that room is frightened Miss Derby and I am all for efficiency but what she needs now is some reassurance and a spot of TLC, if you don't think you can provide such then you should not be here with me…"

Though the words were whispered, the sentiment was loud and clear.

"She does not need a Doctor, there are no signs that would have me calling for a Doctor even if I were in the hospital let alone dragging one from his bed at first light to ease the nerves of an anxious woman." Miss Derby defended.

"That may well be your opinion and mine at this stage however Jolene is the one giving birth and she feels something is wrong, she is not prone to exaggerate and I will not have her made to feel that she is "making a fuss."." Patsy fired back.

"She chose to have the baby at home, without the safety and assurances that a hospital can provide, it's a little unfair her changing her mind now and demanding a Doctor." Miss Derby huffed seemingly feeling only a little admonished.

"May I remind you that I am in charge here!" Patsy raised her voice slightly.

At this Miss Derby did finally nod and hang her head, she obviously respected authority and realised she had overstepped the line.

"Let us go back into the room and get on with this delivery, you can assist me as well as you find you can, but please, heed some words an excellent friend of mine favors and if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Patsy fumed before moving to have a few words with Mr Jacobs leaving Miss Derby to return to Jolene's side.

Xxx

The birth of Jolene's third child was long and arduous for all three women in the end. The baby weighed a very respectable 9lb's and was much heavier than Jolene's first two children. Some time after Jolene first began pushing in earnest Miss Derby had suggested quietly to Patsy that perhaps it would be necessary for the Doctor to be called after all as surely a ventouse would be needed, however, as helpless as Jolene had seemed on their arrival, she had, with the support of the two women in the room, become doggedly determined and as she gripped fast to Miss Derby's hand and pushed her chin once again into her chest for the final push Patsy felt the swell of pride and admiration in her patient that time and time again would make up for any demanding mother.

Almost before Jolene had thanked them profusely and long before they had finished administering their care and cleaning up Jolene and her baby had fallen soundly asleep, newborn on Mother's gently rising chest.

"I apologise." Miss Derby said clearing her throat. "I should not have questioned your methods… I shouldn't have judged…"

"You'll learn Miss Derby and you'll learn quickly, that's what you're here for." Patsy shrugged as she checked she had everything she arrived with.

"I have been in the delivery room for a number of complicated births…" Miss Derby began to protest.

"I am certain you are more than capable of administering assistance and medical care, however out here, in this community, that is only half the job." Patsy pointed out, casting a long satisfied gaze over the peaceful result of their nights work.

Xxx

"How are you Shirl?" Delia asked from the doorway.

"I'm well Deels, you know me." Shirley said, though she seemed preoccupied, looking over her shoulder into the bedroom. Delia knew they were alone, she had waited for Tony to leave, hobbling out of the flat and into the busy thoroughfare, before coming over.

"I think so." Delia smiled, moving to stand beside Shirley as she "I'm sorry about how short Patsy was with you last night Shirl, she didn't mean anything by it, she's just a very private person."

"I can understand that." Shirley assured quickly. "Truly I can."

"She… We, both of us, we have spent so much time living with nurses, with nuns, Patsy was at boarding school too, so I think she has never felt she had her own space until now, where she can be completely herself, do you understand Shirley?" Delia looked into the girls eyes.

Shirley nodded repeatedly. "Of course I do. I shouldn't have burst in like that, I wasn't thinking, I promise it won't happen again."

"You know you're welcome at the flat anytime Shirley, with Pats too." Delia offered."And thanks for returning my book, did you find it interesting or did it put you off babies forever?"

Shirley shook her head quickly. "I didn't understand a lot of it, but is your training going well? I'm sure it's easier to learn when you're actually there. I never was much for books, not like Tony."

Delia nodded. "It's been great, I'm at Nonnatus this week and I helped Trixie deliver a little girl. It was quite a straightforward birth but Patsy says you never lose that feeling of absolute wonder when a healthy baby comes into the world."

Shirley looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'm happy for you." She burst suddenly, pursing her lips now and trying to glance unseen at Delia and gage her reaction. "You and Patsy. I wouldn't tell anyone. Tell Patsy not to worry."

Delia smiled. "I'll tell her."

"Does anybody else know?" Shirley asked, watching Delia for the reply.

Delia raised a brow, surprised by the return to topic. "One or two people, our nearest and dearest." She shrugged. "I couldn't keep it from Mam forever…"

"Your Mother knows!?" Shirley asked, a gasp of surprise..

"Just. I mean, I suppose she's always known there was something… not quite right as she put it…" Delia tried to explain.

"Different." Shirley provided.

"It was tricky at first, I wasn't sure either she or Pats thought much of the other, but I think it'll be alright now. Mam's even asked us home for Christmas!" Delia confided.

"She must really be alright then." Shirley commented. "At least, I hope so. To have your family accept you… that must be…" Shirley trailed off, her eyes fixed on her twisting hands.

"I don't know if accepts the right word, but anyway she hasn't quite disowned me yet." Delia tried lightly until she noticed the change in Shirley, her head hung, shoulders raised high.

"Shirley? You alright?"

Shirley pulled up the heavy weight that her head had suddenly become. "I'm sorry, I just can't imagine that. I've left my family behind forever and I know I chose it but I miss them every day."

Delia placed her hand firmly over Shirley's and squeezed.

"You know, even though I didn't mean for you to find out my secret, it helps, to share it." Delia waited expectantly as more tears came.

Xxx


	9. Chapter 9

Hush Hush 9

"Deels?" Patsy mumbled. She could just make out the outline of her partner seated on the floor, her back pushed against the wall, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

"What are you doing down there?" Patsy asked sleepily, pressing her face against her pillow.

Delia looked to the heavy text book that was propped upon her crossed legs. "I'm reading."

"But why on the floor?" Patsy grumbled, opening her eyes briefly before deciding they needed a moment more being closed. "We have a bed, or a sofa, chairs…"

Delia stood now and closed the book swiftly making her way beneath the covers and sliding cold hands beneath the warm fabric of Patsy's night shirt, eliciting a yelp from her girlfriend who flinched away before incorporating a new tactic and wrapping her arm covered with blanket around Delia's shoulder, tucking the woman into the crook of her arm.

"I didn't want to disturb you but I wanted to be... nearby…" Delia whispered, half rolling her eyes at how hopelessly pathetic she sounded. "..it _was_ getting a little cold down there though."

Patsy buried her face in Delia's loose hair and let her warm legs tangle with the cold ankles and toes of the smaller woman.

"How was your shift?" Delia asked sighing happily at the longed for contact.

"Hmmm? Yes, fine, Mother and baby doing well." Patsy remarked, her eyes still closed.

Delia planted a kiss on Patsy's chin before she closed her own eyes and enjoyed the peace as she thawed.

The next thing Delia was aware of was jerking awake suddenly, she must have drifted off. Patsy was moving beside her, stretching a little and breathing deeply before a great yawn.

"We better get ready for lunch at Nonnatus, Nurse Crane asked particularly if we would be there." Patsy mentioned rolling to the edge of the bed as she reluctantly got out.

"Yes, I think she wants us trainees to get a sense of the Nonnatus community itself, an important part of what comes along with district work. The London can't offer that!" Delia recited, clearly mimicking their well respected friend.

"Do you think she's trying to woo you all away from the hospital?" Patsy asked, only half serious. It was common knowledge that the Nonnatun's were not nearly as busy as they used to be, they were not in need of an army of new recruits… perhaps just the one Patsy thought hopefully.

"She'd have a job of it, I don't think even Nurse Crane could challenge those girls snobbish ideas!" Delia's tone had turned unkind and unfamiliar, Patsy was shocked but continued to select her outfit without a word. She was well aware that for ambitious young women a career at The London was a much more attractive prospect than working in a community like Poplar.

"I spoke to Shirley." Delia informed, changing the subject swiftly as she too hopped out of bed.

"And? What did she say?" Patsy slipped one long leg into her favourite slacks and then another, standing now with her fingers at the fastenings.

"She isn't going to tell anyone about us. I think she's genuinely happy for us, at least she said as much." Delia informed.

"Well that's fabulous isn't it? You don't look so sure?" Patsy asked her moment of relief cut short by the return of concern.

"No, it is. I trust her. It isn't that. She just, got really upset and it wasn't about us. It was her own problems. I just wish she'd really tell me what they were." Delia admitted heading for the small bathroom.

"I'm sure she will when she's ready." Patsy offered gently.

Delia paused. "I hope so. I think she wants to, I get the feeling she's holding back because of Tony. Anyway I've said I'll take her to the St John's ambulance group, they're always looking for new first aiders and I've been meaning to see them for a while, as you know."

Patsy did know. When Delia had returned to London she had been in touch with a number of friends from St John's but having become so absorbed in life at Nonnatus and in Patsy, she had let her attachments to them go, with nothing more than empty promises when a chance meeting did eventually occur.

"That sounds like a marvelous idea." Patsy affirmed enthusiastically.

Delia grinned. "I think so. She's been asking about what I do at the hospital and about your work a lot, I thought it would give her a taste and a chance for some more friends. It'd be good for her to have her own thing, something that wasn't all about Tony." Delia expanded.

Patsy almost chuckled. "That's good advice." She agreed with a quirk of one brow.

Delia froze at the insinuation. "I have my own interests…" She protested before sulkily leaving the room.

Xxx

The pristine tablecloth was barely visible beneath the veritable feast that lay before them. Mrs B had outdone herself, always knowing just how to impress without being wasteful or overly lavish. Extra seats had been fit around, as was the way when guests came for lunch and Delia took at once to the seat she had always favoured, before wondering to herself if she should actually place herself somewhere else, perhaps alongside the other trainees a couple of whom had naturally taken up chairs side by side and close to Nurse Crane on the opposite side of the table. As Delia dallied Patsy and Miss Derby entered with Trixie, the midwives taking their usual seats and Miss Derby slipping into the chair between them.

Patsy flashed a smile of greeting at Delia as she continued to listen to something Miss Derby was telling Trixie about a birth she had attended in hospital. Delia leant forward to listen and insert herself into the conversation just as sister Julienne took the head of the table and began to thank them all for joining her and being punctual.

A hush fell upon the room. "It is always a pleasure to see new faces around the table and though some of you will be with us but a short time we hope that what you learn here will serve you well in the future."

She went on to report on the recent births assisted by Delia and Miss Derby and an unusual case that Sister Mary Cynthia had lately attended before announcing calmly.

"We shall soon be losing one of our midwives." Sister Julienne nodded to the young blonde that had moved to Nonnatus only after Patsy and Delia had left. Delia had met her a number of times but she was very quiet and never accepted an invitation to join Delia or the others on any social outings, even to the flicks.

"Nurse Teal will be returning to her home town and has secured a position in a local clinic there. She will be greatly missed and we wish her all the very best in her future endeavours." Sister Julienne offered sincerely.

There was a chorus of congratulations and the usual well wishes before the table settled again and Sister Julienne continued.

"Also many of you may know that Nurse Hereward will be taking up light duties for the next several months." Sister Julienne beamed across the table at Barbara, like a proud mother herself.

More sincere noises of approval and excitement were heard now as Barbara confessed that Tom was such a worrier and would be happier if she gave up work entirely.

"This means that a position will now be available here with us and I have spoken with Matron and she has agreed that one of you may finish out your training here with a view to a permanent position in the future. Should any of you wish to continue here?" Sister Julienne looked around at the young women, brow raised somewhat expectantly.

Most of the women smiled politely but didn't quite meet Sister Julienne's gaze. Delia however met the look with an enthusiastic one of her own. So keen was Delia to demonstrate her own interest that she almost missed entirely the firm nod that Miss Derby directed at the most senior nun, indeed had it not been for Delia glancing in Patsy's direction she may well have remained oblivious to Nurse Derby's register of interest.

Delia could not keep the look of vexation from her face as she turned to look directly at Miss Derby now and heard Sister Julienne saying something about interviews.

Delia was quiet for the rest of the meal and only spoke at all when Nurse Crane asked her about the birth she had attended. Patsy watched her partner as much and for as long as she thought she could reasonably get away with but Delia didn't look to her for the rest of the luncheon.

xXX

"Thank you for bringing me along tonight." Shirley offered politely.

"That's alright, though I wonder if you're regretting letting me talk you into it? You were awfully quiet. I know they're not the most lively bunch, but they warm up when you get to know them." Delia assured.

"Oh it's not that. They seemed nice. I just, I'm not used to meeting strangers much. I never know what to say… how to be interesting. I'm not like you." Shirley dipped her head at the self deprecation.

"Well it wasn't so long ago I was a stranger and you've done alright with me." Delia reasoned.

"You're easy to talk too" Shirley responded quickly.

"If you're not interested in St John's you could always try something else, what kind of thing would you fancy? Perhaps you could think about getting a little job?" Delia suggested suddenly brimming with ideas.

Shirley was shaking her head. "Tony doesn't want me to work."

Delia frowned, she had taken Tony for quite a modern young man, perhaps she had been wrong about him.

"There's no point, if we're going to be starting a family soon." Shirley explained.

Delia nodded. "So that's the plan. You want children right away?"

"That's the way it is…" Shirley shrugged.

"There's no need to rush these days…" Delia trailed off, it wasn't really her business.

"Doesn't it bother you?" Shirley asked, colouring slightly as she did so, her legs shaky for a step.

"What bother me? Oh, you mean… babies?" Delia realised, smiling at her own obtuseness.

A sharp nod. "Didn't you want any?"

"I hadn't thought much about it before I met Patsy and then, I suppose once I'd met her I didn't think of anything else, for me." Delia shrugged at the inevitability.

"And she's the same? Even seeing those babies coming into the world every day?" Shirley ventured.

Delia considered this. "Maybe that makes it easier? I don't know, we never really talked about babies, well not our own." Delia felt a little uncomfortable as she realised she didn't really know how Patsy felt about not having her own child. She suddenly recalled a moment not long before Patsy had left The London for Nonnatus when Patsy had talked about them ending their relationship, she had mentioned it then.

" _You could meet someone else, have a family, you'd be good at that, you'd be happy."_

At the time Delia had brushed the idea away, told Patsy how she felt for the hundredth time, that Patsy was the only one. Now she wondered if Patsy ever thought about it, if she ever longed for something they couldn't have together? She didn't think so, but she couldn't be sure, even if it was only for that moment when she handed a newborn to it's mother and saw that love in her eyes.

"Sorry Delia, I shouldn't have been prying…after you've been so kind…"

Delia grinned. "Don't be daft. It's just that you made me think I suppose. Silly really to wonder, if things were different…"

"If Patsy were a man?" The young woman prompted.

"God not that!" Delia exclaimed in slight horror.

Shirley giggled. "Maybe if a stork delivered a baby then? Or if one of you was like Mary?"

"Perhaps we could ask the nuns for some tips...how to induce an immaculate conception!?" Delia joked.

Shirley looked sympathetic which made Delia chuckle all the more.

"No, really Shirl. Patsy's more than enough for me." The brunette linked her arm through Shirley's as they made the rest of their way home.

Xxxx

Patsy was busy reorganizing her clothes drawers, the weather had taken a definite turn this last week from the mid September mild to a sharp kind of air that made your nose tingle. Winter was coming. Patsy had washed her warm yet less flattering undergarments and lay these at the top of her clothing pile. She quickly slid open Delia's drawer and immediately located the cardigan she had been missing amongst a flurry of other muddled items which she corrected into neat piles.

Patsy heard the chap of the letterbox and resented being interrupted as she almost completed her task.

"Yes?" Patsy asked as she took a moment to recognise the young woman on the doorstep out of uniform and with her hair flowing softly around her face. "Nurse Derby? How can I help you?"

The young woman smiled. "Nurse Mount. Awfully sorry to intrude. Nurse Hereward pointed out where you lived quite innocently as we visited a patient close by here the other day and I have shamelessly taken advantage of the knowledge to throw myself upon your mercy."

Patsy frowned not sure what the young woman was talking about. "Would you like to come in and you can tell me what on earth you are talking about?" Patsy asked quite candidly.

The trainee nodded gratefully and followed Patsy into the flat.

"Please take a seat." Patsy offered as the young women hovered awkwardly in the sitting room. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Just water please." Miss Derby requested.

"You're sure? No tea? Nothing a little stronger?" Patsy checked.

"No, water's fine." Miss Derby assured as Patsy moved around the kitchen before delivering the glass and perching herself on the seat opposite the young women.

"The reason I've come looking for you…it's." Miss Derby seemed nervous and out of her uniform she seemed much less sure of herself, but that was common enough, the uniform was like it's own brand of armor, Patsy understood that.

"Well, I know I've only been here a few days, yet it has affected me greatly…" The girl seemed embarrassed by the admission.

"It has that effect on many of us… that's why we stay."

"Quite. That's why I'm here." Back to business, Miss Derby clapped her hands together quietly. "You heard Sister Julienne's announcement at lunch about a placement here. I feel that perhaps we got off on the wrong foot and I'd like to think you wouldn't hold it against me or let it colour your view of me, should sister Julienne ask..."

Patsy understood suddenly and shook her head. "Of course not. You really needn't have gone to this trouble." Patsy informed. "I was impressed with your capabilities and I will report so to Sister Julienne."

Miss Derby's smile was relieved. "Thank you."

"I must say I'm a little surprised you want to stay, I had thought most of you girls headed for a career at the London." Patsy asked, her curiosity peaked and since the girl had come to her she may as well enquire as to motive.

"Yes. I suppose that is what's expected." Miss Derby agreed. "But I like it, I like the life of the place. No one here gives a fig who I am or who I'm not, it's just about the work."

Patsy narrowed her eye as she took a moment to think.

"Nicolas Derby." Miss Derby supplied with a resigned sigh.

"The surgeon?!" Patsy asked stupidly.

"My Father. He already has reservations about the field of midwifery… and everyone I meet at the hospital seems to have some idea about me already, it can be quite tiresome." She sighed.

"I suppose Poplar is rather a good place to lose oneself, or equally find oneself." Patsy added ruefully. "You needn't worry, I shall be fair in my report of you if and when it's requested. I hope we'll work together more in the future Miss Derby." Patsy added sincerely.

As the meeting came to it's natural conclusion Patsy heard the front door burst open and close again as quickly.

"Pats! I'm home." Delia appeared in the doorway. "I told you I wouldn't be late!" She called as she took in the scene and her dazzling smile fell flat to the floor.

"Nurse Busby!" Miss Derby was obviously surprised to see her fellow trainee here.

"Nurse Derby." Delia murmured in what could pass as a greeting.

Each women turned to look intently at Patsy who shifted uncomfortably, feeling like a child caught with her hand in the biscuit tin when she clearly had done nothing wrong. Who to address first?

"Delia, you know Miss Derby, she just popped in for a word about work." Patsy explained.

Delia was silent for a little longer than Patsy thought was proper, her eyes fixed on their visitor and so the redhead stood and announced she was putting the kettle on. "Is anyone going to join me?"

Miss Derby quickly rose from her seat. "I really mustn't take up any more of your time." She said, her eyes still meeting Delia's whom finally managed a small smile. "I didn't realise you lived here Miss Busby?"

"Yes. Patsy and I know each other from training school." Delia explained quietly.

"How nice. Of course you didn't train with the rest of us." Miss Derby commented. "You hadn't mentioned this though..." She accused lightly gesturing a hand back and forth between Delia and Patsy.

Delia didn't respond, she merely waited as Miss Derby made her way to the hallway.

Patsy followed and moved in front of the woman to open the front door. "You really don't have to rush off." she insisted feeling the need to compensate for Delia's inhospitality.

"No. I have to be getting back. I shouldn't have come, I didn't realise Nurse Busby was your roommate." The woman explained, a fresh note of formality in the tone.

"That doesn't make any difference to what we discussed, does it?" Patsy wasn't sure of the answer herself in this moment.

"I hope not." Miss Derby said darkly as she turned to face Patsy. "Thank you for seeing me."

"What on earth was she doing _here!"_ Delia blasted as Patsy returned to the room.

Patsy shrugged as she moved to make tea. "She wanted to make sure I wasn't going to complain about her to Sister Julienne."

"Why would you do that? Do you have a complaint?" Delia jumped on the words.

"No. Just, I didn't approve of something she said when we were with a patient the other night, I told her as much at the time. It wasn't anything worth mentioning, however, she obviously wants the place at Nonnatus and she doesn't want anything getting in the way of that." Patsy finished her drink preparation, having made one for Delia despite her lack of interest and passed Delia's favourite mug to her.

"Are you sure that's all it was? She wasn't round here trying to find dirt on me was she?" Delia posed.

"Delia you saw her face when you arrived, she looked like she'd seen a ghost, she certainly wasn't expecting to find you here." Patsy assured reasonably.

Delia dropped to the sofa, guarding her drink with both hands. "Well she certainly knows about us living together now. I wonder how she is going to use that to her advantage."

"You really think she would? Even if she could?" Patsy asked doubtfully.

"You don't know what she's like." Delia moaned. "She's used to getting her own way and she has made it clear what she feels about me, now she's trying to get the place at Nonnatus, she probably doesn't even want to work there, she just doesn't want me to get the position."

"Deels! You can't really believe that?! Can you?" Patsy asked incredulous.

"Maybe. I don't know. It's strange that someone who walked around like Queen of the ward, who thought the idea of coming here for a week was a waste of time, suddenly wants to stay." Delia surmised combining sulky and suspicious in a perfect blend, narrowed eyes and a poky pout.

"She inferred that she'd had enough of living in her father's shadow. She seemed genuine." Patsy shrugged.

"Really? Well from what I've seen she is not above using him to get ahead." Delia argued and Patsy knew better than to counter.

"Delia. Sweetheart. Sister Julienne knows you well. I'm sure she'll make the right decision." Patsy tried for reassuring and reached a hand to Delia's knee as she sat beside her.

Delia stared into her tea as if the answers to all life's questions could be found in the beverage.

Xxx

"Shirley? What's happened?" Delia moved toward her friend on spotting the swollen red eyes and the tracks of tears in her make up. "Come in, come in!"

Shirley entered the flat looking over her shoulder as the door closed behind her and falling into Delia's outstretched arms.

"Tony and I had words. He found a letter I wrote to my Pa. I hadn't sent it. I might not have done but I miss home so much sometimes. And I remembered what you said about giving your Mam time to come around...what if that's all Dad needed? What if he wants to forgive us and wants us home but he doesn't know where we are?" Shirley spewed the words all at once.

Patsy appeared in the hallway as she heard the noise of Shirley's arrival, she observed the scene from a short distance and caught Delia's eye over Shirley's shoulder.

"I'll make tea." The redhead informed. The only thing to do in such circumstances.

Delia smiled gratefully as she firmly patted Shirley's shoulder.

Xxx

"Is it such a bad thing if you contact your Father? You wouldn't have to tell him exactly where you are. You could even send it through a third party, I have acquaintances in Plymouth who'd be happy to send a letter on?" Patsy offered reasonably.

Shirley didn't seem to even consider the idea before shaking her head. One of Patsy's handkerchiefs clutched firmly in her palm. "He said no contact, Tony said I made my choice and if I wasn't happy with it now I could just as soon go home and beg them to take me back but I'd never see him again. He means it too. He won't go back. Too much has changed."

"I hate to see you this unhappy." Delia announced suddenly her hand balled to a fist. "Who does he think he is saying who you can and can't write to…"

Patsy raised an eyebrow at the short outburst and Delia bit her lip. "Shirley why don't you go and wash your face, tidy yourself up a bit while I make us another drink."

Shirley got up from the table like an obedient child and made her way to the bathroom.

"He's a bully!" Delia fumed. "I'd like to tell him so to his face…"

A moment later Shirley returned looking more like herself, if just a little more sheepish.

"I'm sorry to come here…" She began. "I should go.."

"Of course not!" Patsy said quickly. "That's what friends are for. You are welcome to stay the night if you like, give you time to think about things."

Shirley wrapped her cardigan a little around herself, the sleeves stretched tight over her wrists and into her hands where the damp hankie was still scrunched, she looked nervously to the hallway behind her out and towards the front door.

"If you like I could go and let Tony know where you are, that you're safe and you'll be back in the morning?" Patsy proposed kindly.

Delia fidgeted at the table, clearly not altogether happy with that idea and about to voice it herself when Shirley jumped in.

"No! No you mustn't do that…" Shirley protested, backing slightly away from them as if they had made some physical move towards her.

Patsy put a hand up, palm open, hiding nothing, a surrender.

"I better get back, I shouldn't have come here, I'm sorry. I didn't want to get you involved and if he finds out I've been here he won't be happy…"

Delia jumped on the words "Why's that?" She demanded. "Why would he mind you being here Shirley?"

Shirley paled.

"Why would he mind you being here? With us?" Delia seemed to have transferred some of her anger from Tony to the girl stood before them.

"He just thinks we're getting too close… we're probably going to have to move on again now…" Shirley admitted, her bottom lip quivering before she captured it in her teeth.

"What good would that do? You just got here, you're making friends, you can't keep running…" Patsy argued.

"Why doesn't he want you with _us_ though, in particular? A few weeks ago he was more than happy to take us all to the pub, so what's changed?" Delia asked suspiciously, her arms folded defensively across her middle.

Patsy looked from Delia to Shirley and realised quickly what was passing unsaid between them. "You told him about us."

Delia nodded and Shirley looked quickly away from either woman's gaze.

"It isn't that… he doesn't mind about it, not really, I knew he wouldn't…" She defended.

"Then why the sudden change of heart?" Delia persisted doubtfully.

"He just thinks that the two of you… you're not careful enough, he thinks you're asking for trouble. He's just trying to protect me, to protect us, we don't need people asking questions about us… It isn't anything personal.." Shirley struggled to explain, looking desperately from Delia to Patsy.

"Of course not!" Delia almost snorted.

"It's fine Shirley. You go home." Patsy said with a calm nod and an almost understanding smile.

Shirley hurried to the door of the flat and let herself out, leaving a silence behind her.

"I'm sick of this. Why does she let him control her like that?" Delia spat.

"She loves him." Patsy supplied the simple answer causing Delia's frown to deepen.

"I should give him a piece of my mind…" Delia decided taking two long strides across the room.

"Deels, No." Patsy caught Delia's elbow in her palm as she passed. "You don't want to do that." The redhead warned fully expecting the next challenge.

"Why not?"

"Neither of them will thank you for it. I've seen it happen before. You stand up for your friend and she ends up siding with the partner, then the next time things go wrong she has no one to go to. I'm sure you've seen it too." Patsy reasoned gently releasing her grip on Delia as she felt the smaller woman relax and sigh unhappily. "If you want to help your friend and I know you do, then let her do what she has to."

"Why do you have to be so damn reasonable all the time?" Delia asked calming just a little.

"I can't help myself." Patsy teased lightly. "I've seen it before is all, it never ends well." she added more seriously.

Patsy reached a hand to Delia as the shorter woman stormed from the room.


	10. Chapter 10

Hush Hush 10

xxx

Delia had shut herself in the bedroom around an hour ago, yet Patsy was reliably informed by the occasional thumping and slamming noises that she had not gone directly to bed. Patsy was determined to give the welsh woman her space and had reorganised the already very neatly set out food cupboard twice but she hadn't heard a peep in the last ten minutes and she did want to speak with Delia before she was fast asleep. She would have no peace tonight if their last words to one another had been in disagreement.

Patsy checked all the switches, the locks and drew the curtains, completing her nightly ritual before slipping into their bedroom. Delia was, as Patsy expected, curled up under the covers with her back to the door. She didn't turn at the soft click of the catch, yet Patsy sensed that she was awake.

Still Patsy tiptoed across the room and changed in silence, finally turning out the small bedside lamp as she got into bed.

Patsy moved to the middle of the bed, bringing her knees up a little and curling her shape around Delia's without actually touching her yet aside from the fingers of her left hand that gently made contact with Delia's waist.

Patsy felt Delia stiffen slightly and hope she imagined the tiny space between them getting marginally wider.

"Delia?" Patsy whispered. "I know you're awake."

"Hmmm, I'm tired." Delia replied.

"I'm sorry…"

"For what? Having tea with the person who has made my work life hell for the last few months or interfering with my relationship with one of my friends to save my causing a scene?" Delia snapped.

"Deels!" Patsy was stung and withdrew her hand from Delia. "I don't believe that's fair! I was going to say, I'm sorry you've had a rotten day but I'm sure it will all look distinctly better by morning. I wanted to give you some time to calm down but I see all you've really been doing is stewing in here by yourself."

"I don't like you're being friendly with Miss Derby and I don't want to see her here in our flat!" Delia turned to face Patsy, her look steely.

"I...I am not friendly with Miss Derby, she is a colleague and I didn't invite her here she just turned up. I really don't understand the animosity between the two of you Delia, you haven't exactly explained it and it isn't like you…"

"She treats me like I'm less than her, because of where I am from, the way I speak, look, the fact that I am older than her and haven't progressed any further in my career… that may be difficult for you to imagine Patsy, but you don't know her like I do…"

"Alright, I'm sorry I can see that you're upset, I agree that I won't invite her here in the future, but you can't expect me to treat her any differently to anyone else at work?"

Delia did not answer the question she simply rolled back to her original position in the bed her back once again to Patsy.

"Deels. I think the other thing, with Shirley. I just didn't want you to say something you might later regret, you were so angry. I know that you've thought of Tony as a friend too, perhaps you could speak with him tomorrow? He likes you, he respects you, I think he would listen. He may not even realise how hard he is being on Shirley. I think he sees it as trying to protect her."

Patsy noticed a slight shift in Delia's shoulders, they had dropped a little and now she shrugged and sighed.

"I suppose I could try." She agreed sulkily.

Patsy shuffled a little closer once again pulling the blankets up around herself.

"It's just...I really felt comfortable with them, I felt like we could be...ourselves and now that is exactly why Tony wants nothing more to do with us!" Delia complained.

Patsy put her hand to Delia's shoulder and was pleased when she was not shrugged away.

"I know, it feels like a betrayal but you could address that with him too. Let him know that we _are_ careful, that we are not insensitive to the dangers, for our careers for our position in the community, even for our safety here. If he understands that he may come around." Patsy couldn't quite believe she was defending the man that she had several concerns about herself, however she knew it was important to Delia.

Delia nodded now and leant back slightly into Patsy's body, the redhead took the movement as the olive branch it was and snuggled into Delia's back, her chin replacing the hand on the shoulder as she wrapped her arm around Delia and held her close.

Patsy put her lips to Delia's ear and kissed her swiftly as she whispered. "I hate it when you're cross with me."

"So do I." Delia agreed, a hand covering Patsy's at her far hip.

"I'm sure it will all turn out for the best darling." Patsy assured feeling sleepy now that she had relaxed and was warm.

"Mmmm, I hope so." Sighed Delia sounding less than convinced.

When Patsy was next conscious Delia had left and the bed was cold.

Xxxx

Barbara giggled. "Your hands are freezing Nurse Busby, I hope you warm them up for your real patients."

"Sorry Barbara, I haven't quite got used to how draughty it gets in here." Delia said rubbing her hands together vigorously.

"Now let's see what position this little one has got herself into." Delia grinned, first splaying her hands gently upon Barbara's firm bump and then applying more pressure as she tried to determine the position of the baby's head, bottom and even a foot if she was correct.

"I don't know why you insist on referring to the baby as a girl, it's just as likely to be a boy." Barbara pointed out cheerfully.

"I just have a feeling." Delia shrugged happily.

The curtain that enclosed them was suddenly pushed back roughly and Delia jerked up to see Miss Derby looking back at her sternly.

"Nurse Busby? I didn't think this cubicle was in use." Miss Derby stated. "Are you waiting to see Doctor Nurse Hereward?"

"Oh no, Sorry." Barbara began peeling her top down over her bump and sitting up a little. "Delia was just having a look while she was quiet and I was taking the opportunity to put my feet up for a few minutes."

"Have there been any problems? You should probably see a qualified midwife if you have any reason for concern?" Miss Derby continued, a dark look flashed Delia's way.

"Nothing unusual." Barbara informed standing up now and placing herself rather protectively between Delia and the young newcomer. "Deels is just keeping a close eye on me."

Delia was surprised by Barbara's use of the nickname only Patsy used for her. A sign to Miss Derby that the two women were close and a reminder that she was an outsider. Delia was touched and as Miss Derby backed off she reached up and gave Barbara a quick peck on the cheek.

"Thanks Babs." She grinned.

Xxx

"Nurse Busby." Miss Derby greeted. "We were just talking about you."

The young girl beside Miss Derby was one of the girls Delia often noticed with her, she didn't seem to have much to say for herself and now was no different as she chuckled into her hand.

"Really? You heard about the twins then? Delivered just an hour ago. The second one was so tiny you wouldn't think she could possibly have all the necessary bits in there. I hope she makes it through the night." Delia chattered as she put down her bag and began to take off her hat.

"You delivered twins?" Miss Derby's companion couldn't hide her admiration.

"Under Nurse Crane's direction of course." Delia confirmed. "Have you been at a birth yet Cathy?"

"I haven't but I'm on tonight with Nurse Mount." Cathy replied.

"Ahh, Nurse Busby's flatmate." Miss Derby announced smugly.

"Really! You live with Nurse Mount, Delia? You never said. I knew you stayed here for a while and that's how you know the other midwives but I didn't realise you were all so close."

"It's no wonder Delia want's the position here is it?" Miss Derby asked her young friend pointedly.

"Oh I see." Cathy responded looking from Delia to her friend and back again as she caught the meaning. "You think perhaps she has an unfair advantage?"

Delia turned to protest. "Sister Julienne would never allow personal feelings to colour her decision!"

"Well I suppose you'd be the one to know." Miss Derby shot back.

Xxx

"You're going out, you didn't say?"

"Yes, well it was quite last minute. Trixie had to swap shifts with Barbara, something about her going to visit her Father and she suddenly realised she has tonight off and she fancied doing something with it." Delia shrugged.

"Just you and Trixie?"

"Yes, well you're on an early and besides I didn't think you'd really fancy it?" Delia was putting the final touches to her hair, her eyes fixed on her image in the mirror.

"Why not? What have you got planned?"

"I'm taking her to The Gates." Delia announced barely able to hide the flash of excitement in her eyes.

"What? I thought we were going to talk about this?" Patsy moaned.

"It was her suggestion Pats, what was I going to say? Your sort are not welcome?" Delia asked.

"Of course not."

"So? If you want to come get ready, we'll wait. It'll be fun!" Delia promised.

Patsy frowned as she considered the offer, she didn't enjoy having things sprung on her like this. She didn't really feel in the mood for going out at all and the idea of taking Trixie to The Gateways did not exactly appeal, for reasons she couldn't explain, but she did also feel that she should perhaps be there to see how the evening played out for herself.

"Pats? Are you coming?" Delia asked again.

Patsy shook her head as she made her decision. "I won't. I don't think I would enjoy it. Will you be out all night?"

"I suppose it depends how it goes." Delia shrugged as she turned away from the mirror and gave Patsy her full attention. "You're not upset?" She checked.

"No." Patsy replied. Not upset but not entirely comfortable.

"Good. I'd give you a kiss but I've just put on my lipstick." Delia mentioned.

Patsy stepped forward and dropped a kiss on Delia's cheek. "Be careful, Trixie has a habit of leading people astray."

Xxx

"I'm going to get us another drink." Delia shouted over the music. "I don't know about you but I've danced myself a powerful thirst!"

Trixie grinned wildly as she continued to kick her heels up. "Yes thanks sweetie another orange juice."

Delia nodded and left Trixie with no less than four women loitering nearby and ready to take her place and dance alongside the blonde.

Delia smiled at Trixie's flirtatious flick of the head in the direction of one of the young women who had been watching them and made her way to the bar safe in the knowledge that Trixie could very capably hold her own.

"Hi Sue, Can I have another whisky and an orange juice please?" Delia requested, leaning her elbows on the bar.

"Where's your usual pal tonight then Delia?" Sue asked as she glanced over at Trixie.

"At home. She's on an early." Delia informed a small sad sigh alerting her to the fact that though she was having fun with Trixie it wasn't quite the thrill of having Patsy here on her arm.

"Who's the new girl?" Sue jerked a thumb to the dance floor.

"Trixie, a work friend." Delia explained.

"She got a friend?" Sue asked, no longer hiding the interest in watching Trixie on the dance floor.

"No, but I think she's happy to keep it that way Sue, at least for tonight."

"Sue placed the glasses in front of Delia and took her money. "You girls be careful out there, been reports of a couple of blokes hanging around giving the girls a hard time. They tried to come in earlier but Smithy dealt with them."

"Really? What did they want?" Delia frowned in concern.

"Some of the girls been getting a bit of attention since word got out about the magazine." Sue informed.

"What magazine?"

"The girls they're printing a new magazine, they set up the library over on Carnaby Street and they're having meetings."

"What's the magazine about?" Delia quizzed curiously.

"About us. All of us. Why we are the way we are. Why we aren't any harm to anyone. They got real academics involved." Sue said, proud to share the news.

Delia was fascinated. "And the library?"

"They got all kinds of papers, articles and books over there from all over the world. Not these stories you see on top shelves. You should speak to one of them about it." Sue nodded her head in the direction of a door leading to a quiet corner of the club she hadn't been in before but had glanced at on her way to the toilets.

"Thanks." Delia offered. She made her way to a small table at the edge of the dance floor and quickly Trixie joined her.

"Gosh! I thought that being here I would get a night away from unwanted attentions!" The blonde took a seat and waggled her fingers at a very tall and strikingly attractive Afro-Caribbean woman she had been dancing with.

"Are you kidding? Some of these women can be very persistent. Just as much as men. Luckily I usually have Patsy around to scare them off." Delia informed.

"Ha, now _that_ I would like to see … and I can well imagine." Trixie chuckled, taking out a cigarette.

"She is very pretty though." Delia nodded in the direction of the woman.

"She's absolutely beautiful, but not exactly what I'm looking for." Trixie winked.

"Are you having a good time Trix? We can go somewhere else if you like? Somewhere a bit more to your taste?" Delia offered.

"No, don't be silly, I'm fine here. I like the music. It's a shame that Patsy couldn't come." Trixie fished.

"Hmmm, she isn't as comfortable in here as you or I. She comes here for me, for us, and sometimes she forgets for a while, when we're dancing."

"Forgets?" Trixie pressed her.

"To check, who might see us, who might guess, forgets to stop herself when she wants to reach out for me, forgets the risk we take." Delia shrugged to try and minimise the words. "But it doesn't last for long." Delia looked around the room. " She doesn't like to think of herself as like these women."

"Is that really why she isn't here tonight?" Trixie guessed.

"Perhaps. She didn't want you to see her here and think that she's one of them, one of _us_ really." Delia revealed.

"And you feel quite differently?" Trixie checked.

Delia nodded, twisting her glass around by the stem.

"You don't have to agree on everything Delia. Often a little discord can make things much more interesting!" Trixie's eyes twinkled with mischief and she jiggled her shoulders back and forth cheekily.

Xxx

"Did you have a good time?" Patsy asked finally after spending ten minutes listening to Delia fumbling around in the dark before getting into bed.

"Yes." Delia nodded wrapping herself around Patsy snugly from behind.

"What did Trixie think?" Patsy tried for neutral.

"She had a lot of fun. We danced and then she danced some more." Delia chuckled.

"She danced with other women?" Patsy asked in surprise, almost turning but finding herself restricted by Delia's embrace.

"Of course she did." Delia told her, her teeth chattered slightly as she tried to engulf her entire body in Patsy's heat.

"She'd be giving them the wrong impression, they might think…"

"It's just having a dance Pats she didn't pretend to be anything she's not." Delia defended.

"Well I don't think it's very fair. Was it very busy?"

"Not particularly, about the same as usual." Delia responded, she thought briefly about the conversation she'd had with Sue but decided not to share it with Patsy. Not tonight, she was tired and they'd had too many disagreements of late. "What did you do with yourself all evening?"

"Nothing much. Read my book." Patsy sighed sullenly.

Delia snuggled her face into Patsy's neck in response. "Have you been moping?"

"I do not mope." Patsy stated firmly, turning her shoulder slightly away from her girlfriend.

Delia came with her as she turned away and lifted herself up to peer over Patsy's side into her face.

"Pats. It wasn't the same without you." Delia confessed. "I wanted to let my hair down but every girl I saw just reminded me that you weren't there."

Patsy narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Your such a charmer, how do I know you haven't been charming all the girls?" She teased more brightly.

Delia grinned. "You're the only girl for me Pats. I'm sorry I've been a brat these past few days. I shouldn't be getting upset about work and friends when I've got you to come home to at night."

Delia was leaning so far over Patsy now that she came tumbling over her side and landed in front of her. Patsy grabbed a handful of her nightdress to pull her in and prevent her falling out of the bed all together.

"You smell like cigarettes and alcohol." Patsy murmured her nose almost touching Delia's.

"Sorry." Delia offered meekly, her hands reaching out to take Patsy's waist, her eyes flaring as they looked into her lovers.

"Hmmm, I like it." Patsy admitted finally allowing her lips to claim Delia's. A long and thorough kiss made them each breathless and set Delia's hands into motion.

"Are we really alright?" Patsy checked in a moment of unguarded vulnerability.

Delia paused the trail of light kisses to Patsy's throat her hands slipping out from beneath Patsy's waistband and brought their faces together again. "Of course we are Pats. Always."

Delia sealed the oath with another kiss before embarking on a mission to completely reassure her love whilst garnering her own faithfull assurances.

Xxx

A/N- Thanks for still following people I know updates are sporadic but real life is just


	11. Chapter 11

Hush Hush 11

 _A/N- sorry it's been so long again, if anyone can remember what the hell is happening I think this chapter pushes things along a bit and I want to get this fic done soon, so I'm going to try posting more regularly but with shorter chapters, this might mean more mistakes so I apologise in advance. Thank you for sticking with me._

Delia returned from work to find the flat empty and gloomily lit by only the grey winter morning light. The last few days she and Pats had barely seen each other. They had endured times like these before but not recently. Still it was all in aid of getting time off over Christmas to visit Pembrokeshire where they may not have much time alone together either and yet Delia was looking forward to a family Christmas that had Patsy in it. Patsy was the most important of Delia's family and it was right for her to be there at the centre of Delia's family. It felt like some small recognition of Patsy's importance, of their permanence.

Delia was sure that her mother wouldn't have directly informed her Dad about the nature of her and Patsy's relationship, but perhaps if he got chance to see how well Delia was, how happy she was with Patsy the rest would be easier, if and when the time came.

Christmas had crept up on her as it did every year and the signs of it were now spread all through Poplar, from the sights of Christmas trees and decorations in almost every home, the sounds of carols on the wards, to the sense of excitement in almost everyone she spoke to. Patsy had strewn some colourful paper chains around the house which looked to Delia like the work of some cubs but let Delia know that perhaps even her sensible lover was letting the festive season get to her. Delia had managed to shop for small gifts for her family which she thought were nice enough to be appreciated but not lavish enough to be seen as extravagant, even her Mother should approve.

Delia felt ready for Christmas and yet she also felt that she had plenty of unfinished business. She hadn't managed to speak with Tony and Shirley and was no wiser to who would be taking up the position at Nonnatus House in the New Year. She had been working so hard herself that she had hardly had time to keep an eye on what Miss Derby had been up to.

Delia went in search of food wondering if she should make anything for Patsy, but deciding not to as she had no real idea what time her love would be home. Cooking for one was nowhere near as much fun as for two and Delia settled on simply making some tea and toast. Delia noticed a figure pass the window as she sat in her armchair, she had watched Shirley leave from the window only a few moments ago, was that her back again already? Should she go and speak to her? It had been days since they had so much as exchanged a brief hello in the street and Delia was still worried about her friend. But as she checked the window she saw Tony going to his door, his back to her. He shouldn't be here at this time of day, either he'd been laid off or perhaps they were really leaving.

Delia hurried out to the street hoping to catch Tony before he shut the door on her and could refuse to open up again.

"Tony!" She called. "Wait a minute, I need a word."

Tony did not turn at his name and was already inside the house as Delia crossed to him, she felt anger rise as she reached the door. Tony hadn't closed it properly in his haste to get inside and away from her. Delia pushed her way inside.

"Tony, you're just going to ignore me now, is that it?" Delia called barrelling through the living room to where she saw the young man entering the bedroom.

He didn't look back at her and he almost stumbled through the door, leaving it open behind him. Delia followed and found him slumped against the wall and clutching at his chest.

"You look dreadful." Delia stepped closer and reached a hand to test his forehead. Tony shook his head away from her and pushed himself off the wall almost losing his balance, he reached out to grasp the iron bedstead.

"Get out!" He growled the order, the fingers of his other hand going to the buttons of his shirt. "Leave me be!"

"Don't be a fool." Delia retorted. "I'm a nurse I can help you."

Tony attempted to edge his way to the head of the bed and out of Delia's reach but fell back onto the mattress, sinking heavily. "I said get out!" He croaked as his chest heaved and he made a retching sound.

Delia hurried from the room only to return a moment later with a glass of water and a wash bowl which she placed on Tony's lap.

"If you're going to be sick do it in here." She instructed firmly.

Delia left the room again returning with a cool damp washcloth and pressing it to Tony's head. "Hold this." She told him.

Tony closed his eyes with some relief as the coolness met his burning skin.

"You need to get into bed." Delia told him. She knelt to tug his shoes from his feet and set them neatly together under the bed.

Tony heaved, bolting upright on the bed and this time filling the bowl with vomit.

Delia leant away and waited patiently for Tony to finish, she retrieved the fallen washcloth and handed it back to Tony who gratefully pressed it to his flushed cheeks and wiped it over the corners of his mouth.

Delia made to take up the task of undoing the young man's shirt yet he mustered every ounce of his remaining strength to clumsily push her hands away.

"Honestly, I used to work on male surgical Tony, you certainly haven't got anything I haven't seen before." The young nurse argued.

Tony now heaved with the effort of a small chuckle before it became a strangled moan and Delia reached out and tugged at the shirt front. The next button she unfastened exposed the sight of bandage, wound all the way around Tony's chest. Delia wondered what exactly her friend had been getting up to that had caused such an extensive injury.

"Have you been fighting again Tony? When are you going to learn... " Delia had freed Tony from his shirt and now as he scrambled his way inside the bed clothes she looked strangely at him, at the bandage strapped across his chest, at the shape of his waist and the way his hips filled his jeans.

Tony slid beneath the covers and unfastened his trousers, kicking his way out of them until Delia pulled them from beneath the blankets and draped them over the foot of the bed.

Delia turned and her eyes met Tony's, the young man's usually scraped back hair was ruffled and fell forward around his eyes and in the way he looked at her Delia saw at once what he had been keeping from her. From everyone.

Soundlessly Delia moved to the bedside and put her hand to the bandage, her eyes requesting a permission that was given before she began to unwind the tight bindings. Tony winced in pain and sucked the air in through his teeth, his hands coming slowly up to hers but giving up the fight as Delia continued her work.

As the bandage fell away Tony's chest expanded as if he had been holding his breath with everything else he held in.

Delia looked carefully at his breasts, the right one looked more swollen than the left and she could tell even before she softly held the back of her hand against it that it would be hot to the touch.

"How long has this been swollen like this?" Delia asked.

The breasts looked heavy and were both obviously swollen anyway, which was not uncommon if what Delia suspected was true and yet one of them looked unusual, sore and certainly infected.

Tony didn't answer but tried to pull the blanket up and around himself.

"I need to see how bad the problem is Tony otherwise I'll just have to call the Doctor to examine you." Delia warned, speaking loudly and clearly, she could tell that Tony wasn't focusing on the room at the moment, that the pain was getting the better of him and his mind was trying to aid his escape.

"Tony!" Delia ordered. "Look at me."

Delia tugged back the blanket and Tony shivered at the motion though his head was slick with sweat. Tony's arm went immediately to cradle and protect his tummy an action Delia had seen many times just recently but never from men. His stomach was rounded and firm though still small for what she suspected was a late stage pregnancy.

"Tony." Delia pleaded, her voice more compassionate now as she sat on the edge of the bed. "I want to help. Please let me help you. It's just me. It's Delia, your friend."

Tony seemed to recognise her as if for the first time and the resistance he had maintained drained away from him all at once.

Delia managed to briefly examine Tony before quickly covering him once again with the blanket. "I'll get my things and I'll be back in a moment." She promised.

As she left the room she glanced back at the bed to where Tony was curled up like a small child himself, blanket tucked around him, eyes shut tight, his jaw trembling slightly.

Xxx

It had begun to get dark by the time Delia heard the door to the flat open and close again. She hadn't seen to any lights so it happened that by now she was hidden by the gloom of the bedroom in a chair by the bed, unseen until Shirley had already walked around the bed to the side Delia occupied. She jumped as she realised Delia was there and held a hand to her chest.

"Delia? You gave me a fright! What are you doing here?" Shirley asked, turning quite pale if the thin shaft of light from the window that striped her face was anything to go by.

"I came to see Tony." Delia replied honestly.

Shirley looked to the bed automatically, Tony slept now, blankets packed tightly around him.

"He wasn't well. I believe he has an infection…" The nurse began.

"Is he alright? Is he…" Shirley studied his now peaceful form.

"He's sleeping. I haven't called the doctor yet."

"You musn't…" Shirley begged quickly. "You know what he's like!"

"I may have too. He's very unwell Shirley. This is more serious than a twisted ankle. Why would you put him at risk like that?" Delia questioned with a frown.

"I told him to stay at home, to rest, I tried, he wouldn't listen, I've been so worried that someone will see…" Tears ran freely down her cheeks.

"I'm talking about his health Shirley and not just his…"

"Don't you understand? We've already risked so much. You could look after him Delia, both of them, you could, that's why I wanted to stay here. If anything were to happen, we could come to you, you and Patsy. I said I wouldn't leave until the baby came." Shirley sat on the edge of the bed facing Delia.

"You knew all about his condition... of course, the two of you don't have secrets, how could you?" Delia stated calmly. "This must have happened before you came here, so you've been deceiving us all along, is that the only reason you befriended us at all, a couple of midwives as friends might come in handy?"

"It wasn't like that…You make it sound so…"

"Calculated? Ha… you must have thought you'd hit the jackpot when you realised about Pat's and I. Something to use against us if you ever needed to…." Delia went on bitterly.

"I thought it might mean you'd understand a little… or even sympathise…" Shirley interjected.

"You had me completely fooled, I'll give you that. It never crossed my mind, not for a second." Delia admitted bitterly.

"Why would it? That's what we rely on the most." Shirley countered, seeming suddenly wiser than she ever had before. "Will you really call the Doctor? What do you think will happen if we get found out? What do you think they'll do to him?"

"I don't know Shirley, I don't. I do know you must be afraid… But it's my duty as a nurse…"

"What about your duty as a friend?" Shirley asked quickly, leaning forward and clasping Delia's hands in her own.

"He needs treatment, antibiotics…" Delia argued.

"If you go to fetch a Doctor we'll run, we will, we'll have too." Shirley warned looking over at Tony's motionless body and beginning to tremble.

Delia stood, throwing Shirley's hands away from her. "It isn't fair for you to put me in this position." She told the younger woman firmly. "I have to think. I have to go and think. I'll be back to check on him soon. If there is any change…"

"I'll come and get you I swear…" Shirley made the solemn vow.

Delia moved to the bedroom door.

"Please, Delia, he's strong, he's _so_ strong, he'll be okay…" Shirley assured herself more than anyone else.

Xxx

Delia let herself back into the flat she shared with Patsy, it was exactly how she left it, empty, without any lights on and she switched the hall light as she stood against the wall and let the revelation finally hit her.

Delia's immediate instinct was to find Patsy, to tell her everything she knew and for the two of them to come up with a plan. She knew what Patsy would say, they couldn't let Tony go without treatment but how could they convince the couple to accept help?

Patsy thought a lot of Dr Turner, Delia was well aware of that. Could he be called upon? But what would he say? What would he think? Could they hide the facts from him? He didn't know the couple after all, if he saw a woman in the bed then that would be all he would know, wouldn't it?

What a mess. Delia was so angry at the couple's deceit and all the while she had lied herself, to all those she loved or cared for at some time and she was still doing so. What a hypocrite.

Delia let herself into the bedroom in the darkness and curled up on top of the blankets.

Xxx


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N- Thanks for the reviews everyone. I was a little unsure about how the last chapter would be received but I had this story line planned from the start and I hope I'm going to do it justice. For the guest who asked did lesbians even do that kind of thing in those days? Please check out Billy Tipton, famous Jazz musician that no one knew had been assigned female at birth and lived as a women for his early years. Further back still there are more examples such as Murray Hall a notable New York politician who also on his death was discovered to be female. Many women in history posed as men to join up and fight for their country. In times of less equality there was almost even more reason to live as male. I am trying to respect that their stories are probably very different to people today who identify as transgender so please keep that in mind. Sorry for the length of the note and please keep letting me know what you think._

Hush Hush 12

"Delia? Are you sure you're alright?" Patsy asked again, trying not to sound quite as exasperated as she felt.

"I told you Patsy. I'm fine. Stop fussing." Delia mumbled into the table.

Patsy rose quickly and collected the plate of breakfast that Delia had no more than picked at for the last 20 minutes, scraping the contents noisily into the bin and letting the plate clatter into the sink. She walked away without cleaning and putting away and Delia sighed as she watched Patsy leave the room.

Patsy had arrived home last night to find Delia fully dressed and shivering on the bed instead of tucked up neatly inside it. She had assumed that Delia was unwell and had helped her out of her clothes and into her nightdress while making a hundred different concerned enquiries. Was she hurt? Sick? Had something happened?

Delia told her nothing and had finally fallen asleep in her arms just before dawn. But the questions had continued this morning and a few hours sleep had done nothing to give Delia any clue as to how to deal with the problems of their neighbours, perhaps she could just pretend she knew nothing and stay out of it altogether. One thing she had resolved was to keep Patsy out of it as much as she could. Were her motives noble or did she merely want to avoid a dispute? That she couldn't answer or didn't wish to dwell on.

Delia heard the door and dashed to it, arriving a moment later than Patsy who was just greeting Shirley.

"Shirley!" Delia called demanding both women's attention. "I was just on my way over!" She glanced anxiously at Patsy and shot a meaningful look Shirley's way.

Shirley nodded. "Alright Delia, I'll expect to see you soon then…?"

Shirleys eyes were red and seemed set inside dark hollows, she likely hadn't slept in days.

Patsy looked from Delia to the young woman at their door a frown creasing her brow and her lips tightly pursed together. Neither woman spoke or even met her look fully.

"Fine!" She announced crisply. "I shall leave you both to it."

The midwife turned to unhook her coat and marched through the doorway without another word.

"Pats." Delia pleaded unheard as she watched her walk away.

Delia made her way back to the kitchen and washed up her dish, the least she could do was have Patsy come home to a clan flat. Shirley followed behind and watched as Delia now retrieved her shoes.

"You haven't told Patsy?"

"Anything." Delia confirmed. "Not yet."

"Alright." Shirley agreed. "But when it's time…"

Delia shrugged. " _I'm_ not a midwife, not yet."

"But you will be and people have babies on their own all the time…" Shirley argued.

"How is he this morning?" Delia asked sullenly.

"He seems a little better, he was so hot in the night but I think his temperature is coming down." Shirley informed as if to appease her. "He's making sense again now but he didn't remember that you tended to him last night. I'm so grateful to you Delia…"

"You shouldn't be. " Delia stopped her friend sharply. "I didn't do anything. We were just lucky."

Delia led the way to Shirley's flat and waited as the young girl let her in.

Tony was sitting up a little in the bed. Delia could smell the dried sweat on the bedding as she moved to his side. His temperature was still high but as Shirley had said he was more alert, his eyes following Delia around the room as she approached him.

He didn't expend the energy it would have taken to greet her but smiled weakly.

"Morning Tony." Delia offered switching automatically to nurse mode, her personal feelings pushed helpfully to the back of her mind. Delia turned down the bed sheet slightly and turned to Shirley.

"Help him with his shirt will you?" She requested. "He'd probably prefer you to do it."

Delia stepped back as Shirley gently lifted the shirt over Tony's head, cupping his cheek as she did so and trying her best to communicate reassurance as Tony scowled at his exposed vulnerability.

Delia moved in now to examine her young friend. The breast were as swollen as Delia remembered and she noted now that the right one was much hotter to the touch, the nipple looked cracked and sore, but there was no discharge.

"It's unusual to see an infection like this before the birth of the baby. It normally happens with mothers who breastfeed." Delia mentioned. "It can often be put right in the general course of things if mothers continue to feed their babies, but it can also lead to more serious infection and abscess. If that happens it would need to be drained."

"Drained? Could you?" Shirley checked.

"No. You'll just have to hope it doesn't get to that. My advice is for you to go to the clinic now. Go and see Dr Turner or I could have him come to you."

Shirley gave Tony a hopeful look and he shook his head firmly.

"We'll see how it goes… it can't hurt the baby can it?" Shirley asked anxiously.

"Any infection can become septicemia and in severe cases, if left untreated, Sepsis which leads to death." Delia warned fiercely.

Shirley looked as if she's been punched in the stomach and Delia relented a little.

"But at the moment the baby isn't affected in any way. I'll give Tony an antenatal check but as I said earlier I'm not a midwife yet, he really should see someone…"

"We trust you Delia, we both do." Shirley assured gratefully and Tony nodded silently.

Xxx

Delia felt that she had stumbled through most of her duties today and she couldn't wait for her shift to end, so when she came to use the autoclave and was confronted by Miss Derby she almost turned around and left again without a word.

"Delia!"

Too late.

"Hello. Everything alright?" Delia asked with a forced smile.

"Yes of course, I'm enjoying every minute. I really never thought I'd find a place that suited me so well."

Delia inhaled deeply. She really didn't have the energy for this. "Great."

Miss Derby looked a little disappointed that Delia didn't bite, the sniping between them had become so regular that she found the absence a little disconcerting.

"I hear that both you and Nurse Mount are to be away over Christmas, going anywhere nice?" Miss Derby ran on.

"I'm going home to Wales actually, to see my family." Delia informed.

"How delightful and Nurse Mount is tagging along? You're lucky that the rest of the team can afford to lose you both at the same time, still I'll be here when I'm needed. "

"Patsy has worked every Christmas for the last eight years, she's due some time off." Delia snapped wishing instantly that she hadn't played right into Miss Derby's hands.

"Well, be sure to have a good trip." She smiled smugly as she sashayed from the room.

Xxx

Delia decided to quickly call in on her patient before heading to her own flat, once she got there she wanted to shut the world out and not have to move again for what little was left of the evening.

She cast a look at her front door wondering if Patsy was home yet and longing to go and find out before knocking quietly at her neighbours. Shirley's face appeared, peeping cautiously around the wooden door and finally opening a fraction wider to allow the nurse to slip inside when she realised the visitor was Delia.

"He's asleep." She whispered needlessly as she closed the door softly behind them.

Delia nodded. "How is he today?"

Shirley nodded. "He's been driving me mad." She admitted with a wide smile.

"He really must be on the mend then."

"I think he was just trying to do too much and not admit that he needs to rest." Shirley explained. "He's worried about how long he'll be unable to work, with the baby to pay for and everything."

Delia nodded. "Well his body is obviously telling him to slow down and the bandages...he can't do that anymore Shirley, when he's up and about, not for a while, if you won't tell him you know I will. He may feel uncomfortable but it's a lot better than being ill." Delia cautioned seriously.

Shirley looked worried but nodded. "I know. I'll make sure."

Delia sighed. "You should try and get some sleep too. You need the energy and you don't want him to be worrying about you, do you?"

Delia thought that this was the only argument that may convince her if their situations were reversed and Shirley blindly nodded agreement as if the mere suggestion of sleep made her suddenly exhausted.

Delia placed a hand to her friends shoulder and guided her to the small two seater sofa before moving to make some strong sugary tea.

"When did you last eat?" Delia called over her shoulder.

Shirley sat perfectly still on the edge of the seat rather than allow herself to sink back into it, her hands on her lap as she worried at a scrap of worn tissue.

"He's usually the one that looks after me. He's the strong one." She mumbled.

"I'm sure he'll be back to giving the orders soon enough." Delia teased.

"No. I mean. He protects me. He protected us both." Shirley said, determined not to be misunderstood.

Delia had decided halfway through preparing Shirley's tea that she would make herself a mug too and now she came to sit at Shirley's arm and listen.

"When we first met, he wasn't living as he is now of course." Shirley began. "But even then people were suspicious, they didn't trust him. I suppose that's what happens when someone is trying to be something they're not." Shirley surmised with a shrug. "But I saw who he was right away."

Delia remained very quiet and Shirley took this as a sign to press on.

"If you saw him with the animals, his Father was a vet and they had sick animals all over the place, he was gentle with them, so caring. I loved him from the very first, it didn't matter to me what he wore or how he styled his hair. Soon enough other people started to care, they started to notice something."

Shirley had balled up the tissue tightly in her fist and now ran her thumb back and forth over the rim of her mug, not having taken a sip from it as yet but seeming to gain warmth from her palms pressed around it.

"When my family found out about us, we didn't care at first, we were young and stupid, we thought they'd see that nothing could stop us, that there was nothing anyone could do. Tony's father was kind and he half expected it, knowing Tony the way he did. They were close after Tony's mother died and that was why when his Pa turned his back on us it was the final straw."

"What did his Father do?" Delia asked, curious now.

"Told him to get in line, to grow up and to give me up. He was just worried about us getting hurt. My family were…" Shirley broke off and decided on a different course. "Did _you_ ever try to be apart?"

Delia nodded. "Of course."

"So you know how well that works out." Shirley sighed her resignation.

Delia nodded again more vigorously. "Though that was always more Patsy's choice than mine." She added, thankful that those days were nothing but memory.

Shirley nodded as if she would have guessed as much. "Then one day Tony came to say goodbye, he had a car. We had a friend, our only friend it turned out, worked in a garage. Tony had cut his hair and he had changed… clothes of course, but more. He said he was sorry, he couldn't take me with him. Didn't want to take me from my family. Didn't think he could protect me. Provide for me. But I wouldn't let him go." Shirley's suddenly fierce eyes met Delia's as if to show that the sentiment remained.

"He told me then. About the baby. I was surprised, didn't know what to think. Tony doesn't like to talk about it but I know who it was. Straight away I knew it was him. He'd always wanted ...her... " Shirley broke off as she used the word looking almost confused. "Then I knew that Tony was right, we couldn't stay. We had to leave."

"You were brave Shirley, to leave with him." Delia praised.

"I didn't know where we would go but we'd be together. I remember the first day we got to the city. We walked through the streets and I was terrified, I thought someone would stop us. But no one cared, no one gave a second glance accepting a few admiring glances and smiles. It was amazing. I never thought that a strangers approval could mean so much. It shouldn't." Shirley admitted.

"I think...I mean...I know...I can imagine." Delia shook her head and began again. "I used to have this sort of a daydream, before the accident, I'd imagine that I was in the staff room at The London, with the other nurses and they would all be talking about whichever Doctor they had their eye on, or their latest date and they'd ask me about Patsy and I'd tell them, how romantic should could be, what a surprise it was at first, how I knew when we first met that we'd be together." Delia couldn't help but smile to herself, a slight blush crept across her cheeks. "They would all be charmed and make the same cooing noises they made for one another and congratulate or profess their envy. I felt so happy, so proud. It was so stupid."

Delia shook her head bitterly, her eyes cast down before giving her attention back to Shirley. "I never told anyone that before. Patsy would think me foolish."

"No!" Shirley insisted. "She'd be sad, that she couldn't give you that."

Delia sighed and it became a yawn, how had they gotten to this conversation? "I should go. She'll wonder where I am. If she's home." Delia added rising to leave, Shirley following behind. "You really should get some sleep Shirl."

"I know. Thank you Delia."

Xxx

"Pats?" Delia called as she stumbled heavily into the front room with her bare feet throbbing now she had slipped off her shoes. "You home?"

Delia stopped in her tracks as she caught sight of Patsy curled up in the corner of their sofa in her pajamas her eyes blinking wildly as she awoke.

"I waited up for you." She said sleepily.

"I can see." Delia grinned. "I'm glad. I missed you." Delia made her way to Patsy's side and lowered herself into the taller woman's lap, her arms encircling Patsy's neck, she placed a kiss to her cheek and then held on just that little bit too tightly, her sigh giving her away as she clung.

"Are you alright Deels?" Patsy questioned as she nuzzled back.

"I am now." Delia replied honestly. "But there's something I have to tell you Pats and I don't think you're going to like it."

"Go on." Patsy instructed now fully awake.

Xxx


	13. Chapter 13

Hush Hush 13

"Excuse me? I'm quite sure I have misunderstood completely what you're saying." Patsy shook her head as if clearing it.

"You heard me right Pats." Delia assured, perched on the arm of the sofa beside Patsy now, giving her just a little room to process.

"He's a girl, a woman?" Patsy checked, all astonishment.

"Yes." Keep it simple.

"And he's pregnant?!"

"Very." Delia agreed with a sharp nod.

"I don't...I don't know...how?"

"The usual way Pats. I know it's difficult to get your head around." Delia sympathised.

"But he and Shirley. They're together. They're a couple." Patsy pointed out.

"Well that part I didn't think you'd struggle with." Delia commented wryly.

"You mean…"

"They're like us." Delia supplied helpfuly.

"They are not like us!" Patsy protested with something of a guffaw.

"They're both women and they love each other. I thought that was us?" Delia frowned a little.

"But why? Why has she been pretending all this time?!"

Delia shrugged. "I don't know. I expect he has a lot of reasons. Safety? to protect Shirley? to keep them hidden... or maybe…" Delia had been thinking this over for the last 24 hours. Trying to find some understanding herself. "Maybe he just feels better that way."

"What do you mean by that?" Patsy asked quietly, moving from the sofa to retrieve her cigarettes and knowing that just this once Delia would not make her sit by the open window.

"You know. Like at Gateways, some of the girls in suits, well they look like they were born for it. If you put them in a dress it just wouldn't look right, they'd be wretched. Don't you feel so much more yourself in your slacks? You've always said..."

"That is hardly the same!" Patsy objected, hands quickly mounting her own hips. "This is a complete deception about a whole identity. I don't know why you insist on defending her."

"Think about it Pat's we are hardly the best people to judge when it comes to deceptions."

"What we do in private is nobody's business, but this… this is something else…" Patsy persisted. "You can't just choose to be a man to make life a little easier."

Delia said nothing, she wasn't about to argue the rights and wrongs right now it would be pointless.

"You said you found out because she was unwell?" Patsy recalled suddenly.

"Yes. She looks to have mastitis, but I've not seen it before the birth before."

"It can happen. Ironically even men can get mastitis. But she must be… she's far along? How has she been getting away with it? Going to work? If those men at the docks found out…" Patsy didn't finish, she didn't have to.

"She's been hiding it well. She isn't very big considering how far along she seems to be. She can hardly hide it now though, she's going to have to stay hidden until the baby comes.. She's been wearing bandages...around her chest…"

Patsy shot a look at Delia. "She can't do that!"

"I've warned them. Shirley is going to speak to him." Delia explained.

"I can't believe that Shirley would be complicit in this. Tony really has such a hold over her." Patsy said disapprovingly.

"No Pats. Shirley loves Tony, she really does. He didn't want to take her away from her family but she wouldn't let him go without her. I can see how much they love each other. If nothing else they've told us has been true… that is." Delia promised.

"If he's putting the health of the baby at risk then we shall be forced to tell someone." Patsy warned seriously.

"He isn't and of course we would." Delia agreed quickly. "Take a look yourself, I'm sure they would both be reassured by you examining him."

"I very much doubt that Delia." Patsy huffed as she exhaled a cloud of smoke and felt almost instantly calmer.

"Please. I'd like you to look at him. Check on the baby. But only if you feel you can, without…" Delia trailed off, looking uncomfortable, her hands twisted together, her eye's jerking away.

"Judging?" Patsy finished. "I've seen a lot since I came to Poplar Delia and I think maintaining professionalism is something I've just about got a handle on."

"Sorry. I know that." Delia assured. "You'll see him tomorrow then?"

"Of course." The redhead agreed finally.

Delia got up now too and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend with a relieved sigh. "Thank you Pats, I wanted to tell you the minute I found out."

"Then why didn't you?"

"I knew you'd be upset and I wanted to get my own head around it first." Delia explained.

"And have you? Are you telling me you understand it?" Patsy asked as she held her cigarette pointed away from the woman holding onto her.

"I'm trying to." Delia admitted wearily.

xXx

Patsy had swept into the room without batting an eyelid of course and begun taking her instruments from her bag as she greeted Shirley and Tony with the polite tone of any other patient.

"Your blood pressure seems normal and baby's heartbeat sounds good and strong." She informed the couple as they waited for her verdict.

Tony smiled a softer smile than she had ever seen on him and Patsy wondered if that was her imagination prompted by her new knowledge or if the fact that he was so obviously pregnant now had begun to soften him in a new way.

"You'll have to be seen regularly now and I could do with a urine sample." Patsy announced as she placed an empty pot on the dresser.

"Can you?" Shirley asked hopefully. "Can you come regularly?"

"I take it you don't mean to register with the doctor or come to the clinic?" Patsy asked Tony directly, her disapproval evident in her tone.

"No." Tony replied guiltily, not meeting her pointed stare.

"Then I shall come as often as I can but I don't mind telling you that once again you have put Delia and I in rather a predicament. Neither one of us can take the responsibility for your baby's care if you won't see a doctor." The redhead folded her arms across her chest.

"We're not asking for a midwife." Tony spoke up suddenly. It was the most Delia had heard him say in the last two days. "We're asking for a friend."

Delia noticed the tiniest flicker in Patsy's composure, a twitch at the corner of her mouth before she stretched out her jaw.

"We're here for now." Delia stepped in, pushing off from her place on the wall. "But we leave for Wales in a few days time."

Shirley shot a look of panic at the bed and then back to Delia. "You're going home." She shook her head as she remembered something Delia had mentioned days ago. "How long will you be gone?"

"Until after Christmas." Delia replied. "We'll be gone for just over a week."

Xxx

"Do you think the baby will come before Christmas?"

"You know I can't say Deels. Baby's head isn't engaged. Birth isn't imminent. But she certainly hasn't long to go. Still if the child is anywhere near as pig headed and stubborn as it's mother..."

"It could be a while. Perhaps we'd be back in time." Delia suggested.

"It's very possible." Patsy shrugged.

"We could ask Trixie to…"

"They aren't going to want to involve anyone else and to be honest Delia neither do I, it wouldn't be fair…"

"You're right." Delia nodded, mind made up. "That decides it then."

"What? Delia what _are_ you planning?!"

"They're coming with us." Delia announced.

"Deels?! You must be out of your mind!" Patsy exclaimed. ""She can't travel all that way in her state."

"Of course he can, we're not going via donkey. It's a few hours by train and my dad is picking us up from the station." The Welsh nurse reasoned.

"That will be cosy if she gives birth in your father's Ford Anglia."

"At least he'd have someone there, both of us, if something went wrong Pat's, If there were complications and we were away..." Delia fretted.

"What would your mother make of it? The four of us for Christmas?" The thought almost cheered her as she imagined Mrs Busby trying to deal with sullen Tony, it might after all take some of the heat off her.

"She'd be the perfect hostess and nothing less. It's Christmas Pats, she wouldn't turn anyone away and beside she always cooks for a few too many. I'll let her know before we get there."

"She'll have to travel as a woman." Patsy pointed out.

"He won't like that." Delia stated.

"She doesn't have a choice. It's too risky otherwise Deels."

"I'll talk to him." Delia promised. "They may not even come."

"Honestly, I don't know how _I_ let you talk me into things, I doubt that they will fair any better." Patsy remarked with a sigh.

Xxx

They lay side by side in the darkness, each aware that neither was asleep.

"Do you think we could do it? Carry it off I mean? Being a man."

"I shouldn't say so. You are certainly all woman Deels. I know. I've checked, more than once in fact." Patsy's head turned to grin at Delia through the darkness.

"Cheeky." Delia giggled as Patsy moved her hand to Delia's chest just to double check and Delia playfully slapped it away. "Really though. What do you think it would be like? How do you think people would treat you?"

"I suppose it would allow one certain freedoms, liberation even." Patsy admitted.

"I think you'd make a swell gent Pats. You'd be very dapper." Delia sounded excited at her fantasy and curled up on her side her legs tangling with Patsy's longer limbs.

"Yes. Well. Even if that were so… you wouldn't want me if I were a man would you? Isn't that rather the point?" Patsy checked.

"But you wouldn't be, not really, it would be pretend, a sort of acting I suppose." Delia moved into the crook of Patsy's arm, her head on her love's shoulder.

"You think you'd like that?" Patsy asked uncertain.

"I don't know." Delia shrugged. "There might be something quite thrilling about being out and about arm in arm, everyone knowing we were a couple and not minding in the least."

"Well, I'm sure I wouldn't have the stomach for it Delia, I'd be terrified of being discovered." Patsy declared with a very furrowed brow.

"Maybe being a man would give you more confidence, you could just hit someone on the nose if they looked at us the wrong way." Delia delivered a kiss to the edge of Patsy's mouth as she teased her. " I used to love to run around with the boys in the village and when I got to 6 or 7 that started to be the wrong thing to do, I had to play nicely with the other girls and learn how to be a lady. I longed to be off with the boys."

"I can imagine, a boisterous little Delia with grazed knees and sand in her hair." Patsy ran her finger through Delia's locks almost as if she could see traces even now.

"I think if I could do it, even just for a day, I would. I'd walk in a man's shoes." Delia decided suddenly.

"Well at least they'd be comfortable shoes, no heels. But if you're trying to get me to understand Tony, I'll confess I find it difficult, still... I will try. If they are going to come with us on this trip then I shall make the best of it." Patsy assured.

Delia held Patsy tightly and nuzzled into her neck. "Thank you Pats."

Xxx

A/N- Thanks for reading. Reviews always welcome. xx


	14. Chapter 14

Hush Hush 14

 _A/N- sorry it took ages again but I tried to insert a bit more heat than I usually write for the girls and also I have been distracted by little drabbles I have been writing since the finale which you may see at some point. Let me know what you think for future ref? More detail or less with scenes such as the final one? Thank you._

"I think Fred is the most viable candidate for a mistletoe kiss this year Delia so I'm going to show Santa what a truly good girl I am and be in bed for 8 o'clock sharp!" Trixie giggled conspiratorially as the girls waited for the autoclave to finish.

Delia was feeling a little giddy being that she had just finished her last shift of the season and would soon be going home to Patsy who was efficiently re-packing their luggage.

"Who knows what next year will bring Trix, Love always comes when you least expect it!" Delia beamed smugly as Trixie rolled her eyes and tipped her glass of lemonade.

"Nurse Busby? Could I speak to you in my office for a moment?" Sister Julienne had appeared almost silently behind them and smiled brightly as Delia dipped her head respectfully.

"Of Course Sister."

Delia followed the older woman to her room and stood awkwardly just inside as Sister Julienne closed the door and invited her to take a seat.

"Nurse Busby, I know that you have been waiting to hear about the placement here and I don't want you to be go away on your break feeling uncertain. I'm afraid that I have decided to give the post to Nurse Derby."

Delia felt the weight of a crushing disappointment, but tried like Atlas to hold it aloft.

"My decision has not been an easy one. You are part of our family here at Nonnatus and you are just as capable as Miss Derby if not more so. The truth is that I believe this path to be right for each of you. I believe Miss Derby could benefit from what a close unit such as Nonnatus can offer her and I believe that you would also do well to spread your wings. Seek new challenges and rise to them." The Sister explained sincerely.

Delia nodded and forced a smile. Perhaps later the sentiment that Sister Julienne was trying to impart would be of comfort but at the moment it felt like so much cold water, shocking and leaving her soaked.

"Thank you Sister." Delia managed attempting to cut the meeting short.

"Are yourself and Nurse Mount ready for your trip?" Sister Julienne went on.

"Yes. We leave tomorrow. I really should get back and make sure I have everything ready...Sorry Sister Julienne."

"No need to apologise Delia. Please think over my words. I look forward to seeing great things from you and I will be there to support you along the way as shall we all here at Nonnatus. Merry Christmas my dear."

"Merry Christmas!" Delia called a little too jovially as she backed clumsily out of the room.

The truth was that Delia could never be angry with the chief Nun. Not after she had been her saviour, single handedly delivering her back to London and to Patsy's arms all those months ago. Still Delia felt weak, her hopes to stay in this sanctuary, to stay close to the safety that Nonnatus had always offered and to Patsy, had been dashed.

Xxx

"Pats?"

"Deels, do you really think you need two pairs of heels? I shouldn't imagine the cobbled streets of Pembrokeshire will be very forgiving and I'm sure the yellow pair would look equally nice with either dress." Patsy turned, a pair of taupe kitten heels in her hands. "What is it?!"

"I didn't get the job!" Delia moaned, her shoulders slumping low as she kicked off her shoes.

"Sister Julienne just told me, she gave the position to Nurse Derby."

"What? You're kidding? That's ridiculous!" Patsy raged with a scowl. "Are you sure?"

"Sister Julienne told me herself." Delia blinked back her tears as she climbed up onto their bed beside the case that Patsy was packing, curling her feet beneath her.

"Darling. Perhaps I could speak with her?" Patsy offered.

"And say what? I really think you should give my girlfriend the job here? She's made up her mind Pats." Delia shook her head repeatedly looking utterly hopeless.

Patsy pushed the case away and sat beside Delia an arm crossing her shoulders. "I'm sorry sweetheart. What exactly did Sister Julienne say?"

"Something about it being better for us both, that I would be better to spread my wings or something…" Delia shrugged off the words.

"Oh! Well. I suppose at least she didn't feel that Miss Derby was a better candidate, which makes more sense." Pats consoled.

"She was probably just trying to make me feel better." Delia muttered defeatedly.

"I'm sure Sister Julienne wouldn't bother with platitudes, she wouldn't mislead you. Try not to take it heart darling." Patsy pulled Delia in closer, both arms wrapping around her now, cheek to cheek.

A deep sigh.

"There are lots of places that would be delighted to have you Deels, I'm sure you'll have plenty of offers when you finish training." Patsy attempted to console her love, kissing the top of her head and stroking the spot.

"I wanted to be near you. I mean… we don't have to work side by side but what if I can't get anything close by, what if I have to travel halfway across London every day?" Delia sulked further.

"If that were the case we could make other arrangements, we could move somewhere half way. I don't have to be so close to Nonnatus. We'd work something out." Patsy shrugged.

Delia looked up at her. "You don't think we'd have to move?"

"Probably not, but we'll consider that when we know more. I just meant to say that it shan't be the end of the world if you aren't at Nonnatus. Sometimes it's good to miss each other, then come together at the end of the day and share what we've done." Patsy tried. She was unused to taking this role with Delia, it was so often that the young woman would comfort her, she rarely let anything bother her like this.

Delia nodded. "I know you're right of course. I'm being silly."

"No. It's alright to be upset Deels. What am I for if not to make you feel better when something disappoints you?" Patsy reasoned, feeling a little inadequate but sensing it was important to give Delia this support.

Delia smiled and took a long steadying breath as she once again wrapped herself around her girlfriend, her head buried in Patsy's warm chest.

"I have something to show you." Patsy announced moments later as she pulled Delia gently from the embrace.

Delia followed Patsy to the living room and the moment she entered she could see reflections of so many different brightly colored ornaments from a tree in the corner of the flat.

"I wouldn't normally purchase one of these artificial ones but the thought of a real tree dying on it's own in the flat while we were away seemed too dreadful." Patsy explained as Delia took in the scene.

The tree had a number of neatly wrapped gifts placed carefully beneath it and was covered in baubles and strands of shiny ice blue lametta hanging from branch to branch.

"Pats! I thought we weren't going to do anything here for Christmas!" Delia admonished slightly.

"I know I said that... but I was passing Woolworths and it just occured to me that this is the first Christmas in our own home and even though we aren't going to spend all of it here, I thought the occasion deserved marking." Patsy explained simply, now watching Delia's face for her reaction. "Deels? You aren't cross? I wasn't sure whether to decorate myself or wait for you, but we can always start again? Deels?"

Delia had been a little overcome as she stood her hands covering her mouth, pressed together as if in prayer.

"Pats! My Angel. I love it! I even love that it's artificial, it makes it different from the one at home and we can get it out again next year and spend all Christmas here together. I won't hear about sharing you then. I promise." Delia rambled excitedly.

"So an early celebration would be acceptable Nurse Busby?" Patsy asked looking very pleased with herself as she crossed to the drinks cabinet and picked out two long flutes that clinked together, chiming sweetly.

Delia nodded happily, all her earlier disappointment forgotten. "Why of course!"

The two touched their glasses together in cheers as Patsy rejoined her love and the cool champagne slipped all too easily down. Delia stared hungrily at Patsy over the rim of her glass as she tipped the last of her fizz back quickly.

Patsy moved a little closer as if Delia's eyes at their clearest blue had a magnetic quality to them, drawing her in irresistibly. The smaller nurse let her hand reach out and trace the waistband of Patsy's slacks, finally crooking a finger through a belt loop and closing the gap between them as she tugged Patsy closer. The brush of lips was almost ghostly in it's softness and Delia was distracted again by the sight of the tree. Their tree.

In response a grinning Patsy took Delia's empty glass from her and placed both on the sideboard behind them without moving her body away from her lover, leaving hands free so that Delia's could now catch Patsy's and pull her in the direction of the sofa, tugging her down as the brunette remained standing and heeled her way out of her shoes.

Patsy took the difference in their positions now as an opportunity, placing both her hands lightly behind Delia's knees as she looked up into the slight question on her face she began running them slowly up the stockinged thighs to the fastenings, then deftly unhooked them one by one and turned her attention to just one leg as she slowly rolled the sheer material down Delia's skin. Delia had bent her leg helpfully, her weight pressing up onto her toes and she concentrated hard on remaining still as Patsy finished her task.

The small brunette felt a thrill as Patsy reached for the next leg, deliberately taking her time over the act and allowing her fingers to make as much contact with Delia's skin as possible as they smoothed the fabric down exposing the cream of flesh.

Delia wondered again at the fact that they had all this privacy, all the safety to be able to take time over their interactions these days. Before they had the flat every touch had been hurried, every caress was quick and quiet. Now moments like this could be drawn out, could be savoured.

Delia raised a knee and set it on the couch beside Patsy to steady herself whilst granting the red-head further access. The smaller woman placed her palm to Patsy's warming cheek causing her to look up into Delia's face, her desire clear. Delia swallowed as her eyes remained connected to Patsy's and she felt her loves fingers stroke against her. Delia opened her mouth and a sound that should have been louder rumbled in her throat, a moan that brought a satisfied smirk to Patsy's face.

Delia placed a hand to Patsy's shoulder as the midwife continued to stroke her into submission, Delia collapsing against her chest now as her legs buckled and she brought her other knee to the sofa straddling Patsy, who pushed herself as far as she could into the back of the seat, giving her self room to continue her attentions.

Delia panted at Patsy's ear as she wrapped her arms around her lover's shoulders and buried herself in her neck, clinging on until her body found release.

As she calmed, Patsy spread kisses along her jaw to her lips, where Delia momentarily recovering, barely responded.

"Merry Christmas Deels!" Patsy whispered against her mouth. "Shall I take you to bed?" She added with the quirk of a brow.

Delia shook her head. "I want to stay here." She informed. "Just give me a minute." She nodded pushing herself up, using Patsy's shoulders to steady her hands and to push Patsy back against the arm of the sofa, Pat's helpfully bringing her long legs up onto the cushions, Delia still straddling her but pushed a little higher up by the movement. "I want to stay awake all night." Delia announced. "Here, with you."

"Well how on earth do you expect Father Christmas to visit if we're still awake?" Patsy argued.

"I don't care about him!" Delia said seriously. "I want you."

Delia snuck one hand beneath Patsy's shirt and the other popped the button of her slacks free as she began a trail of fiery kisses from Patsy's throat.

"Merry Christmas to me." Patsy chuckled as she let her eyelids close and felt her muscles tighten.

xxx


End file.
